A
female
age
41-50,
*tuckinconfused
writes:I need advice on online dating, long distance style. I "met" this guy online about 2 weeks ago n we hit it off. We live a great distance apart. There's a time difference but it's not too bad. We've exchanged several pictures and he has my number. He's said hes going to come to my town this summer to visit. He's almost always out with the guys and will e mail me daily, but has little time for calls or IM's We've both agreed to not see other people while this "thing" of ours progresses. How do I know if this guy's for real or not? Im very new at online dating. In person i watch body language to tell if someones lying but how do i know if they are lying online??
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (19 April 2007):
 You really cant tell for sure someone is lying to you. You say you can read body language, well the thing is that doesnt always give away what you think it does. Body language could just be an uneasiness of a situation.
Anyway, anyone can tell you what they want when they want, whether they are online or sat next to you in a pub... There are many people I have come across in every day life some through normal circumstances and some through the web. It turns out that those that you already know in the flesh, are just as likely to be lying to you as someone you met on the web. Its just slighty more risky as you could be talking to someone that is 50+ pretending to be alot younger.
What im getting at is this, it doesnt matter what they tell you, you will only ever know intime what this person is like. Its the same for meeting in real life, there are many that thought they knew there partners to find out later down the line it was all a lie.
Now, im guessing your wondering if its more over that he could be the physcho type and how do you tell if hes lying.. well i guess until you meet him in that case you cant know if what he has fed you is a pack of lies, it can be risky, yes, but its just as likely hes a genuine guy. There is no pressure to meet straight away and I would keep my cards close to my chest, if hes happy to go along with what you want and there is no pressure than things should be going the right way, dont give out any details that your not happy doing so and dont be pressured in meeting until you are ready. If hes putting pressure on its likely hes not genuine. Carry on chatting im sure hes an alright guy, just always safegaurd yourself, if you do intend to meet, make sure you tell someone where you are, and how long your going to be and meet in a public place.
I met my guy online nearly 4 years ago now. We chatted for about 6 months first off before meeting, i was cautious to the point of meeting him in a public pub car park at our first meeting, in case he came with an axe! lol.. but I made sure i was not at risk despite having thousands of emails exchanged between the two of us and i knew i really liked him, i stayed alert just in case, but I was prepared in case he wasnt what I thought. Its best to keep an open mind and stay with your eyes wide open!
If at any point you feel that this guy is filling you with a load of bull, try and check out his story, check online for places he says he hangs out etc, and check the area where he lives something like that... but like i say the longer you can remain chatting you will get a feel for how this is going, you will know yourself if things are getting out of hand or going down the wrong the path. Just stay open and take your time.
Take care x x
A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (19 April 2007):
Online dating is supposed to be a route to MEETING someone, not a relationship in itself.
The idea is that you get to know a bit about each other, enough to decide whether to meet.
You seem to have agreed to monogamy with a guy you've never met, someone who doesn't even have time to call you or chat to you on line?
Don't you see that this is a little weird? You're having an unsatisfying relationship with someone you never met and can't be bothered to call you.
Dump this guy. Look for someone who lives near you, chat to them online, see photos, ask questions, and then, when you're ready, meet him in a public place in person, for a "first date".
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A
female
reader, ragdoll +, writes (19 April 2007):
 well, you really wont be able to tell, unless it's very obvious (like inconsistent stories), because he only emails you most of the time. you said you had little time for IM's, and you can tell whether a person's lying or not through body language. ever heard of a webcam? or maybe you could get his address through his email info and start stalking him! just trust your instincts.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2007): online dateing is very hard. because you dnt know what 2 believe this is the web this guy can lie 2 you and then when u meet him turn out 2 be someone total diffrent than what u think.
i dnt think theres any logical way u can tell if hes lieing on line except listening to what he says he turns around and says " oh sorry i wasn't on last night i stayed out at my mates " u can think he did or didn't i say. but most of the time thats normally a guy telling the truth because 2 me being a lad sometimes if i'm out with mates i crash where ever i am.
now if he ever gets on the web and start saying " last night i killed a guy " i think u can tell hes lieing. 2 be honest wv you theres no way u can tell if he lieing. u just to trust him and hope it gos well.
most think online dateing is dangerous and stuff i do agree but i've met my new girlfriend over web (she did live in my town) but its not something i would go bak and fix i just told loads of people where i was going and who i was meeting just incase.
good luck
and sorry i couldn't be more helpful
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