A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am a thirty six year old male and am concerned, having just found out that my little sister, who is 16 is dating a 19 year old man. The worse part is that she seems to be the one going after him and my parents seem to be ok with it, whereas, I am not, she is stubborn and wants me to stay out of her business, do you have any advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): Why fret?
She's your sister, you should be happy for her!
I was angry when I found out my 15 year old sister was dating an 18 year old.
I'm only 17, and my boyfriend is 20 (I live in UK so I'm not jail bait) and no one seems to have a problem with it.
If your sister has any sense, she wont go sleeping with him until she's of age.
Dont worry about it, and if he breaks her heart, you can go bat him :)
A
female
reader, alwaysnight  +, writes (23 February 2009):
well im only 17 and a 16 year old going after a 19year old is not that shocking. It sounds as thought your sister knows what she is doing and is in charge. Atleast hes not going after her becasue that could be a problem if he was unsuitable! I wouldnt worry im sure she will be just fine.
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female
reader, Krissypro89 +, writes (23 February 2009):
It's only a 3 years difference. She will be 18 in 2 years so it's no biggie.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): When I was 16 I went out with a 19 year old. I'm now 19 and he's 22, and I'm still with him. 16 is mature enough in a lot of cases.
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female
reader, 0101A +, writes (23 February 2009):
This is pretty normal as (no offense) men at 16 tend to be quite immature and a girl of 16 is going to be looking for a guy of her 'mental' age. This sounds kind of weird but i am 18, and i started dating my bf when i was 16 and he was 21.. we are still together.I understand your concern because my parents said the same to me, they thought because of his age all he would want to do is use me for sex, and go out with his mates- leaving me hurt and betrayed. NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!I guess you should just talk to your sis or maybe suggest you all go for a meal or to a local pub so you can get to know him better and make a judgment on him through that and not on his age :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): Steve S said exactly what I would have said, but I'd like to add that as her brother you're naturally concerned, but if you get involved in this you risk alienating your little sis and that's the last thing you want.
That's a pretty normal age gap to be honest, she's mentally about the same age as as him, there's a reason teenage girls go for older guys, remember how immature you were at 16 and 19?
You have to allow her to live her life, be supportive of her and if it does go wrong but be there to help her pick up the pieces, she's lucky to have an older brother that wants to look out for her but don't let your age get the better of you, try and remember back to when you were a teenager were we as crazy as adults thought we were?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): In America, there's a lot more you can do to stop it. They cannot have sex till she's 18 right, you could always warn the 19 year old guy off your sister by saying if you ever hear anything going on your go to the police. But I'm 19 and a 16 and 19 year old isn't that bad, I understand if he was older but he's not.
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female
reader, audie  +, writes (23 February 2009):
 i think its sweet that you are worried but you really dont have to be. trust me 19 aint so bad she could have done a lot worse. imagine if she'd hooked up with a thrty or even forty year old man. let her grow up thats the only way to go. you just be there when she needs you.
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female
reader, painoflove  +, writes (23 February 2009):
first you need to be her friend not her brother and be nice to her and talk to her and tell her that its normal to have bf but you need to know what are you doing and then tell her not ever give her all of her emotions and to be careful
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): She will be having sex and hopefully enjoying life, be happy for her. (Deliberately put that bit in to make you think she is growing up)
I Think you are a good brother - but like mums and dads you have to let her grow up. Be there if she needs you. Step aside and guide her - she is a grown up now. 3 years is not a lot of difference. If you try and stop her you will fail.
Star.
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