A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help. I'm having some problems with my boyfriend. Well first off, I love him, i'm very attached to him, I think about him all the time. And when he's gone I miss him so much.At the same time though, i'm bored with him, the sex is good, but there's no build up or excitement. We don't really have a lot of mutual interests, and I tend to think anything he likes is stupid. I feel like I can't have a deep connection, or conversation with him. I tend to feel that anything meaningful, or deep is lost on him. I want the kind of bond where you can just talk about anything, and have great conversations, and passion.I would leave if I wasn't so attached to him. Then there's also the factor that i'm incredibly insecure, and He doesn't look at porn, and isn't attracted to any other girls, and I know i'm never going to find a guy like that again.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 October 2011):
 do not stay out of guilt...
and do not feel guilt that at your age you want to experience something new and different... that's what the teen years are for.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey. OP here.
Part of me feels bad, he was the kind of guy who was cold, and kind of a dick, and girls wanted him, but he never cared about any of them.
When we first met, it was exciting, he used to say really sexually charged things to me, and it was really a sex thing, and eventually he ended up falling in love with me. And he loves me a lot, we've had a lot of troubles in our relationship, and we're able to handle each other at our worst.
Part of me just feels too guilty to leave, but then part of me wants someone new. I just don't know what to do.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 October 2011):
 You cannot just stay with someone because they don't watch porn or find other girls attractive. If you are insecure well then that is obviously why you feel attached to him, and that is unhealthy. Seriously you cannot stay with him just for these reasons only. You need to build up your self esteem within yourself and on your own. It sounds to me like this relationship is not going anywhere and you are bored with it. Do what feels right to you but just be careful that you are not using him for all the wrong reasons.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 October 2011):
So what help would you like?
are we to tell you how to deal with intellectual boredom?
are we to tell you to stay with him?
are we to tell you how to leave him?
what is your question???
Personally I look at your age (16/17) and the fact that he does not stimulate you intellectually and fear that the end of the relationship is coming up...
Things that are critical in a relationship:
trust
honesty
communication
connection/bond
Have you talked to him about this? IF you say you can't then you have to consider that maybe he is not the right one for you.
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