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female
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*ngel_Whisperer
writes: My boyfriend works so i dont see him very often. In his free time I dont hear much from him and when i talk to him about it he says that he doesnt show emotions that easily unless he's in person with me. thats true though but I'd like him to pay more attention to me. It hurts when i don't hear much from him. So yeah, i was messing around with his phone when he suddenly freaked out and took the phone away. when i asked him why he did that he said that he had porn on it. I just let it go and we planned to go somewhere this weekend. Then later he calls me and tells me we can't go anymore cause he has to go to a friends party. ( A girl that had a crush on him once) I'm invited too but i'm not allowed to go by my parents.I just said ok cause i didnt want to argue. But I feel hurt right now cause it seems like he let me down to go to a friend. Am I overreacting or was what he did wrong?
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female
reader, Jen_19 +, writes (13 December 2005):
Hi I was in the exact same situation a few weeks ago (actually my post should be around somewhere!) My bf cancelled one of our dates to go climbing with this other girl, who was just a friend (he said). But I talked to him about it and it really helped. I told him that if we make arrangements to see eachother I expect him to follow through, and it hasn't happened again! Just make sure you don't accuse him of anything. It sounds like you are a bit suspicious of this girl, but its a good sign that he invited you too so it doesn't sound like he's interested in her. If thats the only thing wrong with the relationship then all's not lost-just make sure you let him know how you feel so you both identify boundaries..encourage him to talk about his reaction to this too. If he doesnt see a problem with his actions then thats a bigger problem. Good luck!
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (11 December 2005):
Your not over reacting, never feel that your feelings are wrong, that you shoudlnt or cant feel like that. You have every right to feel the way you do! Although your feeling very very hurt at the moment and I can understand why, I guess what really needs to be figured out is, was that your bfs intention or not? Whether it be yes or no, something needs to change and I think thats his behaviour. A relationship should satisfy both people. At the moment it seems like you arent being satisfied. You don't feel your being loved very much, that your important, or that your his one and only! So its importnat that you bring these isues up again if not already. And when you do, see if he listens and see if he tries to change. If not well then you shouldnt be with osmeone who doesnt make you feel happy or even atleast try! Dont fear that if this was to end that you wont be happy. Remmeber thaty our not happy now so how much worse can it get? Believe in yourself that you can be indepenent and single, and that you will when the time is right find a guy who treats you well, who loves you and who you love back!
Good luck and I hope things work out for you, all the best.
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reader, pops +, writes (10 December 2005):
No, you are not overreacting. You have the right to be hurt. But, this guy just does not have the same feelings for you that you seem to have for him. Drop him. Find someone who will both respect you, and appreciate you. He is out there. Believe it.
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