A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i have my birthday coming up very soon, i dont particularly like doing things for my birthday, but i do not mind doing something which may pleasantly surprise me. But anyway, my partner didnt cancel work in retaliation of me booking work, but nevertheless my work is flexible therefore i chose to book it, knowing that i can cancel too and also because me and him have been having quite a few problems recently. but anyway, i am awfully upset at the fact that his got work on my birthday, which leaves me to do nothing on my birthday except sit at home and be upset. i dont want to tell him this but at the same time i dont know what to do! so could someone please help me to feel better about this situation. moreover our aniversary is coming up and we have nothing planned, and usually its the men that sort that out, wine and dine you, but his just using the excuse of 'i dont know what to do, im not good at this'! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2011): Many people celebrate their birthday shortly before or after the actual date. You can too.
You must be clear and specific about what you want in life, that includes anniversaries. Evidently your boyfriend isn't good at planning them on his own, so you tell him exactly how you'd like to celebrate. If there is a certain restaurant you want to go to or enjoy a cozy dinner at home, tell him.
Making these events a success can help create a positive climate in which to improve upon the other issues. It's easier to accomodate someone when you enjoy being in their company.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 May 2011):
 Ok well first off talk to him about your birthday and just tell him that you where really hoping to do something special with him and ask him is there anyway possible he can take it off work. If his job is not flexible and he cant well then there really is no reason for you to sit alone at home upset. You need to make the best out of your situation. Call your friends and organise a girlie night out, or spend it with your family. Am sure there are other things that you can do besides sit at home alone and sulk. Believe me its best to be independent when these things are concerned and make the best out of the situation that you have.
As for your anniversary coming up, well he did say that he was no good at this kind of thing, which is really fair enough because not many men are, but explain to him that you want to mark the occasion and ask him to go to a bit of effort to organize something, tell him it doesnt need to be to big or fancy just something to show that he cares about you and the relationship. But also you should compromise as well and organise something for him as it should not always be about the man doing something, at the end of the day a relationship is an equal partner ship. Good Luck.
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