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female
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anonymous
writes: I am currently married but v unhappy in my relationship - we are in the process of splitting up...Aside from this, a few months ago I met a man who I also have some business dealings..The first time we met we were both very drunk and he made a pass at me (even though he knew I was married) I rejected him (and then regretted it the next day!)This was on a friday and he emailed me first thing on the Monday morning to apologise. Ever since that day we have either emailed, texted or spoken to each other every single working day...The next time we met up (for business) we kissed but then he contacted me the next week to say it was a bad idea and that we should be just friends.We have met again since and I made a pass at him which was rejected - the emailing and texting has still continued. Sometimes we email each other all day from 9 to 5 even though we are both EXTREMELY busy at work and really don't have the time spare for this!The nature of our emails is just friendly but I am very confused!He is single and has been out on a few dates since we met (he has told me about them and told me that they have been unsucesful) but bearing in mind that he says he just wants to be friends, I am really confused about why he is emailing me every single day!??I want us to be so much more than friends and I think his resistance is because he is uncomfortable with me still being in a relationship. Do you think this is the case - do you think he is interested and would be interested in me if I was single???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): I don't think I would have continued with the correspondence if I was happy in my relationship (if I'm brutally honest!)...
He is still continuing to email me every day but I still don't feel I can ask the question of how he would feel if I weren't married...
I am about to leave my husband and he is aware of this so maybe when this is done I will feel more comfortable to ask him...
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 October 2006):
 Don't start a new relationship until you've sorted out your old one. The other guy probably feels the same way and that's why he's reluctant to take any action towards you. Do the honorable thing and get out of your marriage first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2006): yes we are still living together but very unhappy
we have started going to counselling but it is not going well and I am thinking of moving out...
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A
female
reader, anon2907  +, writes (13 October 2006):
 Hey,
I'm not entirely sure about this one......
Obviously he likes you a lot - that's clear - otherwise would he email you all day??
The fact that you kissed and then he said it was a bad idea, followed by you making a pass and that being rejected, says to me that he's not comfortable with the fact that you are in a relationship. It's clearly not that he doesn't like you.
You could discuss with him a 'what if' scenario based on what might happen/would have happened if you'd been married?? That might encourage him to be more open about how he's feeling - it's an indirect way for him to express how he feels without it being too much like he's laying his cards on the table - which people are inherently ucomfortable with.
It'd be interesting to know the outcome. I'd also be interested to understand your boundaries - would you have continued with the emails etc if you were happy in your relationship??? (I don't mean that in an accusatory way - but as someone who's not married, I wonder about these things!)
Good luck,
Anon2907
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 October 2006):
What does "in the process of splitting up" mean? Do you still live together?
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