A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is 39 and I am 19. Despite the age difference, we have a good relationship. We have been together almost a year. The only age related problem we have is that he doesn't want me to meet his friends because they may ask us to go "grab a drink" and since I am not 21, that is a problem. He is embarrassed to have to say no, so he would just rather not introduce me to his friends yet - he wants to wait 2 more years. I can somewhat understand, but I just feel like if he cares about me he shouldn't be embarrassed about it. He could always say no in a way that doesn't outright say "she isn't 21." I am just trying to sort out my feelings about this. Should I be hurt he is embarrassed of me or be more understanding and not want to put him in that sort of awkward situation? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): Thanks for all of your responses.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): This would only happen in the U.S.
Why they think 18 is old enough to vote and do anything other then drink? I'll never know.
If you have been with a guy for this long and you haven't met his friends... you are NOT his girlfriend.
Sorry, but a man parades the things he loves. Boasts of them. Especially when they are of legal age.
If he doesn't do these things it means he needs a reason to hide you. And there is only one reason a guy would hide a woman. And thats if he isn't supposed to be dating her (ie. he's in another relationship and his mates have far higher moral standards then he does).
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, Butterman +, writes (7 October 2008):
I would first like to know the nature of your relationship. Although it sounds like you may be mature for 19, the question of why a 39 year old man would feel like he's at all compatible with a 19 year old woman.
The fact is, you shouldn't be embarrassed. You aren't old enough to drink alcohol. Period.
If he's too embarrassed to introduce you to his friends, I can almost guarantee that it has more to do with this than simply the fact you are no old enough to drink. I think he feels a bit foolish for getting involved with a woman 20 years younger than himself.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but this is the reality of the situation. This is not a situation where the man is 45 and the woman is 25, or 40 and 60... this is a man approaching 40 dating a teenager. Simply put, the age difference at this stage of your lives is simply causing a imbalance.
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