A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiMy bf of 2 years often flirts with his colleagues and say lewd comments about them to me which makes me feel in-secured and uncomfortable since most of them are very young girls around early 20s. When i tell him to stop he says even im talking to my office colleagues but he is not taking that in a wrong way.Actually i dont text to them and even if i call ill talk only office related stuff not anything personally, but he does send text to her, call her and talk to her in a personal way. When ever i say im feeling insecured he says its my problem and not his and continues flirting with herWhat should i do, please help me
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 April 2014):
What WiseOwl below says. Dump him. This guy sounds immature, and he sounds quite cruel. I am 100% sure you can do better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2014): I was in a situation where my 40 year old boyfriend would take 24 year old girls for lunch, text them and give them lifts home. I kept telling him it made me feel insecure and unattractive but he enjoyed the contact with these girls. All his facebook connections were young girls. Admittedly he is very charming, witty and generous and the girls really liked him - quite a ew would have had a relationship with him. I kept saying that it made me really unhappy but he honestly didn't care he just liked the attention. I had to end it with him. We are about 3 years on and I still see his facebook page plastered with young women and messages from them on there so nothing has changed. I do think if you have explained that it is unacceptable to you and you have explained why and he still does not cease then the only thing to do is finish it with him because he is not going to change.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2014): What should you do when your boyfriend is flirting with other women? No only should you feel insecure, you should feel insulted, disrespected, and furious. He is totally immune to your tirades.
He says it's your problem; which means he doesn't care how you feel about it.
You won't get much traction telling a grown man what to do. So that being the case; what do YOU think you should do?
Just sticking around and complaining or whining about it, hasn't been very effective. Has it?
There's a general consensus among many OP's that being with a person for a long time, somehow means you should remain with them even longer; even when they're treating you like dog sh*t on their shoe. Maybe it will miraculously fix itself over-time. How long can you suffer until that happens?
If every effort you've made to resolve your differences yields no results. When you're the only one doing all the work to keep the relationship together. That means the relationship has run it's full course.
When he tells you to your face, that chasing and flirting with other women is your problem; I guess he has left it up to you to find a solution to suit yourself. He knows you're helpless. He also knows you're more into him, than he is into you. So he's already got women lined up, no matter what you do.
I'll make a suggestion. Dump him.
You're expecting someone to offer you a magic solution that will make him behave, and you can keep him.
Unless you put your foot down, it's going to get worse. He knows you're all whiny and "insecure;" but you aren't going anywhere. Guess he's right.
If I were in your shoes, I'd send him packing. Either that, or I'd find my own place, and just move out. Not a word said.
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