A
female
age
36-40,
*hPinkyGirl
writes:My boyfriend of four years broke up with me about two and a half weeks ago. Two weeks before he broke up with me we were fighting. I was accusing him of flirting with a girl we work with. Along with all that he was dealing with a lot in his personal life. He got really depressed as if a switch had been turn off for him. He became distant. He broke up with me and whilst doing so he was tearing up. I was crying a lot and got really emotional. During the first week I called him a lot and even asked if there was someone else. He told me that he's not happy in his life right now and he's not happy with the relationship. He said he knows I'm not happy either. (I wasn't) we just got really tense. He said that he no longer trusts me because I always bring our personal life into work and discuss it with people working there. He was really angry. He said that he's forgiven me before and I'd say I'd stop but I still do it. I am guilty of those actions and genuinely apologized. After the first week we've cooled off a bit. One day I asked for a hug he was hesitant but still hugged me. He held me really tight. We went on for a couple of days without contact. Overhearing people at work talking about him and I made me really angry so I called him up to tell him I understood why he got so upset with me. We sat down at work and talked a bit. He told me that he knows I'm looking for answers but he really doesn't know what he wants or what he hopes for with us. I told him that I just want to leave him alone. He said that when he has an answer for me he'll let me know. I reached out my hand to shake his and he shook my hand and held onto it really tight. While I was pulling my hand away he was still holding onto it. We lived together and for two weeks now I've been staying at a girlfriends house. I'm trying to move on but at the same time I have a feeling our relationship isn't over. I know he still loves me and he misses me. I just don't know what to do. I want to reconcile but I don't want to feel confused and hurt anymore. He won't tell me anything but "I just don't know right now". My question is has anyone gone through a similar break up where theyve been with their spouse for a long time and broke up then get back together??
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at work, broke up, depressed, flirt, get back together, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (4 June 2011):
 Give him the space he is asking for and the time he is asking for. He seems to be dealing with a lot right now, and true, perhaps he isn't quite sure how he feels about the relationship. You have betrayed his trust in a way by speaking about your personal life in the office...I get the sense that you both work in the same place.You miss him, you want to be with him and it hurts...yep I know that feeling. But the best thing for you to do right now is give him his space and time to clear his head. You contacting him and all that...it is not going to help. Let him be for a bit and continue with your life. You may get back together as well as you may not. You want that...but he isn't sure what he wants...so let me be sure. Last thing you want is to be with someone who is confused...your relationship will not be a harmonious one.Be patient...live your life and let him be for a bit.
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