A
male
age
41-50,
*eakSOB
writes:She says she loves me! She says she's attracted to me.She says shes tired.Ive been living with my gf for about a year over seas.We live together and work for the same company, we share the same dreams and get along very well.we are both attractive and people around us tell us they envy our relationship. The only problem is, they do not see the "cat" in the bag!I am 30yr old and she is 23.I love sex and everything that has to do with it.I like it to be special and at times I really like it spontaneous. I am very opened and I have a good sence of what the other person wants and comfortable with. I dont push or try to get my way if it is not mutual. The first time we made love I understood something is different, but I thought it would change in time once trust is established and she could open up. but it never has. our sex life (if im lucky) is once a week and I am %99.9 of the time on my back while she is on top. We never change positions (not even missionary) and the only time something is different is when im lucky enough to get some oral.I go down on her almost everytime we have sex and if I continue for more then a few minutes she orgasm's. I love it, but once she does reach her peek she is not able to continue and sexy time is over.so before she peeks she turns me over and rides me so we can peek together. (if, she peeks from sex,im not sure) But she says she does.because sex is so distant, once a week, it doesnt take me long to come and our sexlife is basically five minutes a week.After many times trying to talk to her about this issue I noticed the more I communicate the worst our sex life became (when it happens). Then it seemed to me that she is only doing it because she knows I need it and want it. But it doesnt seem like she is really there. The last time we spoke about the isssue I tried to explain to her that as much as I love her, she will lose me one day. It is hurting me, making me feel unwanted, unsatisfying and conscious about our relationship, my performance and her love for me.I told her that I dont want to buy into a sexless life. Its too damaging!! and frankly, boring. (i didnt say that part)I try to be good to her, understanding and not pressure anything. But I cant help feeling ressentiment towards her. And that makes me act unnatural. she promised she would try and make a change, but again it seems like shes doing it just to shut me up. and still looking for any excuse not to do it. even if I dont ask for sex she makes excuses a head of time.Like: wow im so tired (right before we enter the room to go to bed)I have my period.(good excuse!! but there are other things)Oh babe, I really wanted to tonight but tomorrow ok? I promise. ( but i didnt even make a move)I really cant take this for too much longer. When I walk around and go out, I can just taste the life I can have if I was single. Girls stare me down and flirt with me constentely. But I stay sexless.....The most interesting part is that she plans on us getting married(for what?)please help.P.s If you are a female answering this question. Careful!!! dont come to me with: you have to be more attentive, or wine and dine or communicate more, or maybe your to pushy, or maybe you have to ask her what she likes etc. I have done it all and this girl is litterally being treated as a respected and mature lady. (that she is)I would rather hear the truth!
View related questions:
flirt, libido, orgasm, period, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2011): Hi! Basically i can totally relate to u! Apart from it's the other way round for me! I'm the lady and i'm 23 and having the same problem as u! Been with my boyf for 2 and 1/2 years and 2bh its always been me who wants it! At the beginning he did tell me he wasn't as sexualised as other blokes thats just how he is. I love our relationship and do accept it but sometimes i do just want the passion. I can't answer why your girlfriend is like that, im not to sure why my boyfriend is the way he is! Maybe it is just that they are not sexual people, however u seem to be unhappy in your situation whereas i am dealing with it and just accepting him as he is because our relationship isn't just based around a sex life, not saying thats a good thing or bad thing it's just mine and his relationship. Maybe you are not compatible, whatever it is it needs to be sorted or you will both be unhappy. Hope this helps and doesnt sound to preachy! x
|
