A
female
age
41-50,
*amas627
writes:how do i sleep w/my bf again after he cheated???i found out that my bf of 2 yrs cheated on me 2 weeks ago. i've known for exactly one week now...and i've decided to work things out w/him. he was on tour and it was someone from his past....which doesn't in ANY way justify cheating. he slept w/her twice. he says it was a BIG mistake. that he totally failed in being a real man and honoring what we have between us. he puked his guts up on the phone w/me the night i found out. and he says he NEVER wants to hurt me that way again. that he NEVER will. so i'm working on trying to have faith and trust in him again.he says he used a condom both times but i WON'T have sex w/him until he gets a test and i go with him....just because for me in my mind i'm DEFINITELY safe in that way....but my problem is that any time i try to think of him and i sexually...i can only imagine them together and him boning her. it's DISGUSTING!! i'm sure this is normal when ur hurt and someone u love cheated on you. i wanna know how long this will last inside of me u know? i've made the decision to move on, to work on our relationship and try to build trust w/him again....and i definitely don't want to jump right back into sex w/him. i know how damaging that can be for a woman's feelings of self worth and i won't do any more to myself than this incident already has.how do i have sex w/my boyfriend without thinking of him having sex w/the girl he cheated on me with? how long could this take?? what can help me to focus on us now and not THE MISTAKE he made??
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female
reader, mamas627 +, writes (25 July 2007):
mamas627 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni really appreciate ur advice and i also feel ur pain. but like i've said....i've already decided to work thru this with him. i've made up my mind to believe the promises he's made me as they r the first of their kind for us. i know i'll move on from this....but does anyone have any clue how long these flashes of them together can last? how long it will affect us getting back into a sexual relationship between my bf and i?
i've made my decision...and the sparks r still there somehow...and we desperately love eachother. please....someone help me figure out how to focus on US and not him and the girl he cheated on me with!! =(
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): You don't have sex with your boyfriend. He made a mistake and the sparks are gone. It's time to move on. I am going through somewhat the same thing. Different situation but my bf cheated on me. I can't forget. More I think about it the more I know I don't want a man like that in my life. If he has done it once believe me he will do it again. It is hard but sometimes tough love and being apart will help. If you love some one he wouldn't disgust you. Maybe the time apart will help you decide. But definitly take the time to think about it, weigh your options. Let him know you need time to get over this see if he waits for you. If time doesn't heal your wounds and he is not there waiting You must move on. Your a good person don't feel bad. He should feel bad.
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