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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have a confession. I ruined my family. I talked to other guys, maybe 3 at the most. Things weren't sexual but sometimes they were flirty. One man in particular was very committed to me. I know what I've done wrong. I'm know I'm a despicable human. While I talked to other guys, I was happy with my family. My family is very young. Things only became serious, last January. Before then, I was a single mother and my child's father was basically absent from our lives. He had a drug problem. He had a gf. He was living his life in his own way. When our family came together, his gf was 4 months pg. I had no idea. My intentions were always with my child in mind; the two of them spending time together and my child finally having a father to know. But things went another way and my family became a family. I admit there was always a sense of uncertainty for me. We never said, "ok, we're in this together now. We're going to do this as a family." Things just progressed. I'm a very literal person and I need that sort of validation. I know what I've done wrong but in my defense, I always had a doubt in my mind, especially after I found out about the pg ex. I mean, he had a whole other family to go to if things didn't go well. All I have is my child. We broke up a couple of times because he didn't trust me. We got back together. One of those times we weren't together for a month, and I admit my weakness is being alone and I went on a date with one of the men that I talked with, the one that has been pretty aggressive for months. We ended up reconciling and I made a declaration that I'd put my all into us. And I did. I repeatedly the man that I went on a date with to leave me alone and he didnt. Because he was so aggressive, my child's father was constantly suspicious of him and i. But we continues our relationship. I became pg a second time and he still continued to be suspicious and accusatory. Things finally reached a breaking point and it seems irreparable now. He even told me to stop contacting him regarding our children but thats unfair to him and the children. But my heart won't give up. I need guidance. Can we save things? Do I just need to give up? Please anything.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 I don't think this is ever going to work between you both. He does not trust you, and I don't think he can make himself trust you. You talking to these other men are going to put even more doubts in his head. I think you need to concentrate on getting over him and being a good mother to your children. If he is refusing contact then talk to a lawyer about child maintenance for your children.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 "I'm know I'm a despicable human."
How so?? Because you have feelings and needed to be loved???
First of all...If you want to be with the father of your children and make that work, then there is no options...You must stop talking to other guys....Yesterday!
You cannot have two different men and be happy. It does not matter who you have a family with, as long as you and your kids are well looked after.
If you are married to your children's father, then stay with your husband. If he is just a boyfriend, then stay with him if he is good you and his kids.
If the other guys is better father to your kids, and treat you right, then there you go.
It takes more than just sperm to be a father.
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