A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So there's this girl and she's fantastic. Into comic books, rock music, astronomy, the whole nine yards with me. It's simply a bonus that she's absolutely beautiful and knows how to have a good time. Two major problems, however: she's my 18 year old sister's best friend (I'm 22) and I've known her for 15 years, and, she has a douche bag older boyfriend who is 25 and happens to be a friend of mine. What's even more unfortunate is that I am definitely not someone that a girl like her would find attractive. She's a fit girl who's grown to have an amazing body (not lying, she's 36C-24-36... or so I've heard from hers and my sister's conversations) and I'm a fat tub of lard with no self esteem. Thinking of her at night is just about the closest I'll get to what's in her pants. Which is not to say that's all I want! I'd give anything to be with her, to be her knight in shining armor, to make her happy. Obviously she knows I exist, it's just a matter of would she ever give me a chance? I mean, she's not a shallow girl by any count! What gives me the slightest sliver of hope is that her boyfriend is a bit on the bigger side and she has lots of bigger guy friends from her high school years. Some of whom have confessed to me in their drunken state that they'd "tap that". I wanted to punch them all in the face for disrespecting her like that but I guess... who am I to judge? I'd give anything to be there, too.Maybe it's not fair of me to think this way because she's only just starting her life basically. She was always the opinionated, punk one out of she and my sister. Never took any shit from anyone and didn't even lose her virginity til I did the idiot thing and introduced her to her current boyfriend nine months ago. I mean I've only ever had one partner myself but it's literally been years. I don't want this to read like I'm some horny ******* looking to get some, I just want to know how I can get through to her. Show her that it should be my arms she curls up into at night. I truly do feel that I love her and I've seen the way she looks at her boyfriend; sometimes it's with hatred, sometimes with a sadness. It breaks my heart that he treats her the way he does, calling her a bitch all the time when she doesn't fetch him a beer right away. In any case he's too old for her. I know I'm four years older than her but not seven! It sucks even more that I did football with this guy in high school when I was a freshman and he was a senior. I've talked to my sister about this once or twice and she tells me that this girl is not happy with her current guy.I just need some guidance. Thanks...
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best friend, drunk, horny, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Sorry, bro. She is still with her BF so not really dating material while she is seeing someone. So you need to back off.
And you pointing out to her how much of a loser her BF is, is not pleading your case. Meddling in other people's relationships for PERSONAL gain (and that is what you are doing) is not right. She made the choice to date him, she can (on her own) surely make the choice NOT to date him.
Back off, be her friend and hope she will see the BF for what he is.
A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Well, obv you really like this girl. It could be that she is not happy with her current bf. But, she has chosen to be with him, like it or not. She has to chose to leave him, or the relationship may naturally run it's course in time anyway, if it is not right.
Sure you like her, she might even be capable of falling for you, regardless of your extra weight. However, right now she's with your friend. If he is really your friend you would back off and wait for things between them to come to an end, before trying to woo her.
My advice - give it time, let them sort out what is or isn't between them. In the meantime, work on yourself. You sound a little down on yourself, particularly your appearance. If you don't feel like you are as attractive as you could be, why not change that? It couldn't hurt, right? Start working out and eating better. You will feel better about yourself. In turn, she may notice you in a good way, if you get buffer and feel more attractive and confident.
Hey, if it's meant to be, things will run their course with this guy, and when she's free you can have your chance with her. It sounds like you have a lot in common and you really care for her, so be patient and be good to her, when you spend time with her. Then hopefully she will break up with this guy and notice you :) Gently, gently, catchy monkey. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 You really like this girl, there's no denying that! Unfortunately you cant really make a move on her till she's broken up with her boyfriend. If that guy is really such an ass then she should have broken up with him by now; the fact that she hasn't means that she still has some hopes for her relationship.
All you can do is hope that good sense prevails upon her and she can get out of the relationship and maybe then you can ask her out and see where it goes from there. Of course your sister can always help you but only when she's done with this guy.
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