| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I guess I need some help for my situation. First of all, I'd like to talk about myself, so you can understand who I am. I'm twenty years old, and I'm a woman with simple dreams. What I mean by this is, I love being devoted, and I would love nothing more than to be married and have a family. It never crosses my mind to cheat, and I've never cheated on my boyfriend, it's the truth. In fact, I was a virgin before I met my boyfriend, so he's my first. (Not my first boyfriend, but I hadn't had sex before him.) So you can see how I would love it if he would be my only one all my life. But we have so many problems, it breaks my heart and I've grown up believing that you should try to stick with it, even if you have problems. Now let me tell you about my boyfriend. I can't deny it, the signs. He's extremely jealous, he always thinks I'm cheating. He thinks I slept with somebody and that's how he got the job he has. What's going on? He threw a condom in the garbage and forgot he put it there, and once again accused me of cheating. Again, when I said riding on boats makes me seasick, he accused me of cheating because his friend has a boat. According to him, I've probably slept with all of the people at his work, my work, etc. He showed up at my work and scared the bejeezus out of the receptionist because one of my male co workers answered my phone which I had left at work when I went to lunch. I honestly think he must be crazy. Jaded? He says a lot of women have broken his heart. Have they really or does he just think they did? Sometimes I'm tired, and I have dark circles under my eyes. Sometimes I walk funny because my feet hurt after not sitting down all day at work. All I get are more accusations that since I look so beat up I must be cheating. All of this breaks my heart. I've been nothing less than devoted. I want to build a home with him someday but I really don't want a life like this. The verbal abuse gets pretty bad when he's angry, and he threw a shoe at me. I love him when he's not in a jealous rage, and he's not always in a jealous rage, he gets teary eyed over chick flicks (though he won't admit it) he loves kids, cuddles up to me all the time, we laugh, talk for hours (if he's not in a jealous rage) And I love THAT man. I wish THAT man was around all the time. My parents don't have any idea, they think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. He's pretty much part of the family, as I am with his family. Maybe you all will say I'm stupid for not leaving, but I live for those high periods. I don't want to walk away, but how long can this go on? To those who don't know him well, he's charming and funny and wonderful. I guess i'm just a stupid weakling. Please, does anyone had advice, or has anyone been in a similar situation? I'm so alone and lost and confused, I don't want to leave him, I love him so much and I don't know why anymore.
View related questions:
at work, cheated on my boyfriend, co-worker, condom, jealous, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (21 July 2006):
 The problems that you have could be a host of different things:
1) He could have been jaded and feels alot of insecurity.
2) He could actually be the one cheating. (Most times people who distrust without jest cause are the ones actually untrustworthy)
3) He just has anger issues.
4) All of the above.
5) None of the above.
Try and talk to him as sometimes people aren't aware of the pain they cause only what they receive. He's taking your love for granted. Communication is the key in this case and you must talk it out rationally when he is in one of his better moods. If not this could escalate to abuse as he did throw a shoe at you. Don't be blinded by love and don't forget it. Put your feelings first for a change and be devoted to you this time and worry about his feelings afterwards. Good Luck.
|
