A
female
age
36-40,
*iddle
writes:Dear Cupid,Me and my fiance got together 18 months ago and things have been great, we're getting married this year too. We've never argued before but since December last year we have done nothing but argue, we have a few good days and when it's good it really is good, but when we argue it ruins everything!! I get very emotional when we argue and that annoys him too but I don't know what to do.He has two children from a previous relationship and I love them to pieces, I don't want to lose what we have but I'm afraid I will.He was with his children's mother for 16 years and after that he was with a friend of mine for 15 months but he cheated on her twice with his children's mother - if this makes sense! I get very jealous when I see other women with him and now I'm even paranoid when he drops his kids home after the weekend.He assures me that the reason he cheated on his girlfriend before me was because he didn't love her, she was just 'a shoulder to cry on' that went too far. He tells me that he loves me so much and he wants to be with me and only me for the rest of our lives together, he says that's why he proposed to me.I want to believe him and I do, but how can I stop my paranoia and jelousy? It's driving us both down, please help!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): I can see what it is that is making you so jealous. You figure if he can do it to a friend of yours, and is still maintaining contact with this woman, why wouldn't he do it to you? And frankly, I don't blame you. It's normal to be a little jealous in a relationship, but if this is crossing the line to the point of you not trusting him, maybe this relationship isn't for you. Don't let the arguing get the better of you, though. Arguments happen in relationships and so long as they aren't getting out of hand, it's not something that you need to worry too much about. Just try to take a break and get away from your fiance when the two of you start arguing. After you've calmed down for about ten mintues, reapproach the situation (or forget about it if it was a pointless argument anyway). I hope everything works out for you and I wish you the best of luck! Stay strong hun!
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