A
female
age
41-50,
*ejuven8
writes:Hi, I've got a bit of a problem. I'm too jealous and I don't understand why!!! My boyfriend watches a lot of porn and I get absolutely furious about it. I don't understand what my problem is, because I love too watch it myself!!! I love watching it with him too, but when I catch him watching it alone, I flip. Can anyone give me advice on how to get over this, how can I deal with this. It's not like I'm bad looking or anything, I just don't look like those girls, don't have those gorgeous big boobs... does anyone have the same problem? I'm just confusing myself and I don't wanna lose this guy over something that I don't understand (I have taken it out on him a few times) Please boys, feel free too tell me what you think and please try to help me!!! And girls if there's any advise you can give me, please share!!! I'f you understand whats wrong with me, please tell me cause I'm clueless
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boobs, jealous, porn Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, rejuven8 +, writes (30 December 2008):
rejuven8 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx a lot Diovantestat, you really helped a lot!!! I'm sure I will be able to get through this now. I dont really supporn porn, I just dont wanna take everything away from my man, I support HIM!!! I just dont want him to do things behind my back. And to the other lady, do you really think your man never watches porn..........dont be too confident.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): "but for women like yourself to support it is wrong".. Ms anonymous
Thanks for your opinion which is different from mine. Me and the lady in question both have watched and enjoyed pornography. What advice did you have to give her? Did you have anything else to add to help her and provide a solution to her problem.
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A
female
reader, heretohelp-kirsty  +, writes (30 December 2008):
 at the end of the day your boyfriend is with you .
its just fantasies like they watch them .
shoudlnt be jealous over something someone watches :)
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): i disagree with diovonlestat's advice.....the woman is furious because what he is doing is DISRESPECTFUL....its bad enough that women are disrespected by viewing of porn but for women like yourself to support it is wrong...i realise that this will probably never get posted as everyone who dares challenge the status quo of porn drenched women hating is silenced by you and your pro porn supporters
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): You think your bf would rather screw the girls in the porno flick. Men's minds don't work that way. Stop obsessing-he's sitting there with YOU not them. It's like he's watching a soccer game-it's fun, exciting, but he's not in love with the soccer players!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Your jealous over women with big breasts, you don't like your boyfriend to watch pornography without you. Well seeing as you don't mind pornography yourself, you have realised this is crazy.
These girls have big boobs, you do know that much of this is because many of them have had breast enlargements. Would you feel better about yourself if you had a breast enlargement too? I really don't think so. This is all about insecurity, your insecurity. You think your boyfriend doesn't love you, and you need to always be with him, watch over him, because as soon as you turn away, then he'll run off with a porn queen. Soon you'll start looking at big breasted girls in the street and start worrying that they will steal them away. Crazy, crazy, crazy thinking, but I know you feel the same way, you don't understand any of this.
Your not confident with your relationship and your not confident with your own sex appeal. You don't really believe that your boyfriend can really love and want you, when there are women out there with bigger breasts. There are women out there with bigger breasts, prettier faces, better bums. Me and you are not the prettiest women in the world, but that has nothing to do with whether a man will stay with us or not. Look at the movie stars and famous people who have men that have cheated on them. They are beautiful, they are stunning, yet their men turn around and cheat. If a man is gonna cheat, he's gonna cheat, it doesn't matter if you have big boobs or not.
Then your frightened of comparisons, you don't want him to look alone, because your frightened that in reality he hates the boobs you have. So what if he hates them? Is that all that your relationship is about. He stays with you but actually hates your boobs. Dose he touch your tits, dose he kiss them, dose he compliment them. Well if he dose what's the problem. He can't touch or kiss the boobs in a magazine, and if he wanted bigger boobs, then he would leave you and find another woman. You need to give the man some space. Let him do his own thing. You need to develop more confidence in your body and sex appeal. You know your body is great for you, you know your boyfriend loves you, you know that your relationship works, and you can both be open and honest with one another. That's a beautiful relationship, something to worship, not to destroy with your insecurities and hangups.
YOU ARE NOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD, AND YOUR BREAST CAN ONLY BE THE BIGGEST IF YOU GET THEM CHANGED.
You cannot compete with a woman who has had surgery to look like a plastic doll, and even if you done the same, your boyfriend would hate it, he would run away.
A LITTLE EXPERIMENT FOR YOU TO TRY
You watch pornography, well when you watch are you looking at the woman's tits, are you looking at the guy's prick. Think about it, when you watch pornography what are you actually looking at. Are you just watching the movements of people having sex. When you turn of the video, can you remember exactly what the people looked like, can you remember the buildings in which the place took place, can you remember talking, the clothes, what can you remember when you switch the video off.
When you watch pornography what is in your head. Do you think, "hey I want to have sex with that man, woman" do you think "hey, I like that dress the girl is wearing"," do you think, "hey I'd like to give that guy oral sex", do you think "hey her breast is bigger than mine, that man has a bigger cock than my boyfriend" what do you actually think about when you watch porn yourself.
I would love for you to update your post answering these few questions. What captures your attention when you watch pornography? What do you think about when you are watching it? What do you remember about what you have seen when you turn the video and TV off? Try to find out what pornography dose to you, and you'll be closer to understanding what it dose to your boyfriend.
EXPERIMENT TWO
Can you walk around the house for a day, without any clothes on. Wash dishes, clean the house, watch TV, do everything totally nude. Pay close attention to your body, your breasts. How dose it all feel, how dose it bounce, what do things feel like against your skin. What makes your breasts swell up, what makes your nipples hard? What textures, materials feel good against your skin. What things do you like, what things do you hate.
Get to enjoy the feeling of your natural body moving. Breasts and the female body are better when you can touch them, feel them. There is a big difference in imagining your body behind clothes, and actually seeing your body, moving with it, totally, totally nude. Try this and again come back and tell us how you feel. Are your breast really that small, is your bum really that big, or are your breasts, your bum, your arms and legs actually perfect, perfect for you, perfect things that suit your body and are made to give you a lot of pleasure.
Well that's your homework, try them out, and then come back and tell us how you got on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Herewith a link to a similar post with lots of replies from various uncles and aunts.There is also some very valuable links provided by auntie Diovan. I am sure it will be helpful to you.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/suffering-over-his-porn-habit.html
For more information you can click on "pornography" under the index on the mainpage of Dc and you will find lots of questions and answers relating to yur problem.
My little bit of advice to you is to not compare yourself or try to compete with the pornstars, but to concentrate and to focus on your own uniqueness, your strenghts. Use your energy to uncover your dormant skills and new talents. Boost your self esteem and know that you are worthy of LOVE. Value love and happiness above all.
La Rochefoucauld said:
"Pride has a greater share than goodness of heart in the remonstrances we make to those who are guilty of faults; we reprove not so much with a view to correct them as to persuade them that we are exempt from those faults ourselves".
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A
male
reader, mrhappydude69  +, writes (28 December 2008):
 dont feel bad. i sure its just his habit that he has always done, like kissing your dog or combing your hair. if it is getting excessive and beothering you, pherhaps you should talk to him a;bout it. he may just be used to watching it alot before he started going out with you, but you need to make sure that he doesnt watch porn more than have sex with you. he also may be insecurfe about his sexual performance. fake boobs make look big and nice sometimes but they feel gross, like balloons. pehaps you should get a dog to spend time with, and help work out your problems
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