A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can I get a girlfriend, when I'm too different from most other teens?I always seem to have the unpopular or uncool opinion on things. Like watching school brawls, everyone else thinks it's funny and cool to watch. I always just walk to a different part of the school when possible if a fight breaks out. When I state my logic, some people agree with me, others think I'm some loser who can't live a little. Or drinking, something I avoid, and disagree with doing. Many people drink beer or smoke pot and BRAG about it. Yet again, some agree and others think, "loser". Another example is my humor, which is full of puns and double meanings or politically charged jokes. Only a few people think I'm funny. Oh, yeah, if I admit to liking some unpopular with teens, like the Pokemon games, people think I'm wierd again!I want to find a serious girlfriend, but how can I, when I'm a person who doesn't like crappy reality television, and enjoys talking about stuff that really matters!? I have no issue with having funny converstations, I would most likely like those than the serious ones. But how can I find a mature person who I can really talk to, not some stupid gossip or drama.Of course, I wouldn't reject a girl over whether she like reality television or the like, it's just that it seems like all the other teens are watching those dumb reality shows and Family Guy. And I'm someone who's on the outside.
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female
reader, xalfiex  +, writes (14 August 2008):
 Honey, its high school. People are jackasses in high school to anybody that is different. But don't ever let that get you down. Personally, I think thats cool. And yeah, as soon as you escape to college or uni then you will find people like you.
But first off, you have to (and here comes a good old cheesey pep talk) love yourself. As soon as you get confident that you're amazing, then you'll be fine. Confidence is sexy! So dont let them get you down.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): I think the problem here is you take it all way, way too seriously.
You can't do anything yet about wars, or armies, or Television and Film Classification codes and nor do you have any of the life-experience to trully know how to deal with these things.
Whilst it may not be intentional you come across as thinking yourself better then someone who likes to watch Survivor rather then one of the myriad of so-so documentaries on the discovery channel.
And playing Pokemon at your age and admitting to it... well, you dig your own grave their pal.
My advice is simple. Don't preach. Don't rant. If you are having a discussion about the world you have to learn to accept that someone might not think the way you do, and that the key is not getting angry at your differences but finding and cherishing the common traits you all share.
Honestly, do you really think that any of those people you go to school with don't have the exact same fears as you do?
You can tell yourself you aren't blessed with a superiority complex, but clearly you are... and it's high time to admit that you know no more about anything then anyone around you... that there will be your common ground.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (14 August 2008):
 I seriously don't understand why you haven't met people like you. I KNEW people who have similar mentality (except about Rap music) when I went to my high school. Including me.
Do you by any chance watch cartoons and the History channel? Cause I do and not many people watch cartoons at my age (19...going to 20).
Be sure you'll find this kind of people at college. You have the "liberal" kind of mentality, which is abundant in college.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, thanks! I do see how the way I talk would make people think I have this, "I'ma betta than you, bitches!!" attitude.
It isn't just Pokemon, it just overall opinions, I don't see the games to be bad, I think that socialism is somewhat better than capitalism, the death penalty is just another pointless murder committed by the goverment instead of some indiviual, rap is real music, American culture and standards make us afraid of sex and nudity, any military is bad, and so on.
That's actually a good example, my views on sex and also just goverment/military. I said, that I don't like the military, but I also meant ALL militaries, I just don't agree with war, at all. People are up there telling me, "You get loads of money for being in the force"
I was trying to tell them, what's the point in having money, if you are dead from war?
I see nothing wrong with nudity, but people still think it gross. I think should quit ranting about people who don't get me or won't date me or talk to me because I'm not "cool" and just be myself, I'm going to think about the great girls who will understand me and love me for my wonders, and my blunders (Telling too many jokes, having laughing fits for seemingly no reason over things that are REALLY stupid, and saying it could be worse a lot, are some examples) and maybe I'll meet some girl like that!
Hopefully, this will be the end of my ranting (Not really, but it's good to think positive, right?)
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (14 August 2008):
I hate it when people classify themselves as "normal" or "weird" just because they do different or the same things than some people they know. But you aren't "too different", you're just in another wavelength than your peers.
Ok, I'm here to tell you that you WILL find people like you out there who aren't dumbed into going for mainstream stuff. And going for "mainstream" isn't bad as long as the person truely enjoys it. I've heard people saying countless of times how they hate "mainstream" culture and how they're oh so different from it. Or people who try to do the mainstream for the sake of it. Either way, both ways are irritable.
I'm surprised, though, that you haven't found a girl that would like Pokemon or who would bash reality shows. There are countless of those people in high school, or at least in the punk/goth/emo trends. And I also bet you're not the only non-smoker and drinker in your school.
But don't blame all of the people who don't get your kind of humor. For some us, is hard to get a pun or a double entendre (I blame my Aspengers), but I assure you that after thinking it out or having it explained to me, I'll be the one who would laugh the hardest.
And I agree with what Tremor said about you trying to avoid the "higher-than-thou" thing. Although you may not intend to be like this, some people would perceive this from you (if you keep on mentioning it, though) and some chicks would probably be put off by you.
But in the end, you have to remember this is HIGH SCHOOL. A place full of people who act like sheep and tend to have a dull sense of reality. So what you should try to do is embrace what you have right now and see it as a quality, but never take it as something to feel above most people.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): you should be proud of yourself going down a different route. It doesn't make you weird just unique. I can relate where you are coming from I use to read comics in H.S. Still do in fact. Try going to places that share that people share a common interest. You'll be suprise what some chicks like too that are considered geeky. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): i am 15 and i think its cool how you don't want to drink and that your different, and that you seem smart, you don't need to change yourself, and smoking isn't the best thing a girl wants in a guy, actually the only girls who want someone like that is if they smoke themselves. and a lot of girls dont smoke or drink. its not really cool when you do it, but if you find the right girl it shouldn't matter anyway, socialize more and even maybe watch family guy or something because maybe you'll like it i know i thought it was stupid till i watched it, as for reality tv it is stupid, talk to people you know like the same things, and don't talk about Pokeman as much, but always be yourself and confident and love yourself because, this sounds cheesy but a girl knows you can love them when you love yourself first.. and don't be afraid to talk about your opinion
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (14 August 2008):
 I know where you're coming from, I was the same way in high school. It seemed like the majority of others were mindless trend-sheep who liked crap music, rubbish TV and wouldn't know a double-entendre if it bit them in the ass. And it does get a tad frustrating, particularly if, like most teens, you want to find yourself a partner.
But later on, you may well find that all this works to your advantage. Girls will have dated the 'cool' guys, found them to be wanting, and moved on. And suddenly, someone a little more refined might look a damn sight more appealing.
Just beware of adopting a 'greater-than-thou' attitude. What I mean is, don't look down on your peers for liking the things that they like, and don't assume that you are any better than they. I'm obviously not implying that you do this, but it's something to look out for, as I've seen it happen and it is one of the biggest turn offs in a guy.
And finally, perhaps try and find the appeal in things like Family Guy. A lot of the jokes are quite tongue-in-cheek, and sometimes some utter stupidity is what you need for a laugh. Obviously you can't MAKE yourself like it, but maybe try and get an understanding of why other people do.
Patience is the key. If you're a nice enough lad with decent confidence, a sense of humour and can hold a worthwhile conversation, then there's not much standing in the way of you getting a girlfriend. It's just a matter of waiting for the right kind of girl.
Take care!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): Well, I'll tell you this, I too, am a person that is very different, never met anyone like me, and I enjoy that, being different is not bad, just don't become one of those stupid unappretiatve idiots that do drugs. You will find people who are too weird, and thats just fine, they always seem to be the funnest ove all normal people, be yourself and you will alwys be happy, and go for the girls that like rock music, they are always weird, its great!
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