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male
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anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years. I'm the first serious boy friend she has had.She now says she wants to see other people (just on dates) but still go out with me. She said something she needs to get out her system to make sure she's making the right choice with staying with me. I'm allowed to see other people as well, but i don't feel comfortable doing it, and i don't want her to do it either.I'm not sure what to do, if i tell her she might just break up with me completely.Any help, please. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am 19 she is 17,
I told her that im not going to date other people but she said she still is,
Im just going to have to wait it out,I'm hoping that maybe this gather perspective on our relationship, and that she might make the relationship exclusive.
personally i cant bring my self to date someone else as it would still seem like cheating in my head
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): Geez... why do people insist on thinking this type of thing as a good idea?
If they aren't sure about the relationship then they shouldn't be in one. Period.
I mean having a threesome with a well-trained call-girl together to spice things up is one thing... but getting emotionally involved in any way shape of form with someone that isn't a mere friendship... thats where the line should be drawn.
When you date someone you commit to them until you decide whether you wish to persue that relationship or not.
So tell her you are uncomfortable with it and if she is having any doubts then you should either work through them together, with no dating other people, or break up.
Sorry dude, but your gurl sounds like a bitch to me.
Flynn 24
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female
reader, les  +, writes (14 August 2008):
As Tisha said, your girlfriend probably feels very secure in the relationship. After three years, its only natural to get accustomed to whoever you're dating, and if neither of you is making it a point to grow and continue the excitement in the relationship, seeing other people is going to start looking very attractive!
So you should take this opportunity to date other people to let her know that you ARE valuable and desirable and at the same time, create more excitement in the relationship. Why not date her too? Take her to dinner and imagine this is your first date with someone you really want to impress.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 August 2008):
 Ooooh, this is a tough situation to be in. You don't want to lose her, but she's not fully committed to the relationship if she wants to date other people. You didn't tell us how you and she are. If she's very young, she may have a point, hard as it may be to stomach for you.
I don't see an easy way out of going through this very awkward phase in your relationship. She may break up with you entirely, as you fear.
The best thing to do might be to embrace this experience. She wants to date other people, but knows that you're not really interested in dating others yourself. Perhaps she's a little too secure in your regard for her? Maybe you should take advantage of dating others and let her know that you are and that you are enjoying it. This may bring this experiment to a quick end if she suddenly realizes that she stands a good chance of losing you.
You two do need to talk about this some more, but I'm afraid if she's got her mind set on this, you'll have to go through with it.
Again, I'd make sure that I was out and about with attractive women and not sit at home pining for her. Give her this space and if you start moving away from her yourself, this may unsettle her and force her to re-evaluate this decision.
Good luck.
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