A
female
age
30-35,
*essicaStarDust
writes:Hello, Aunt's and Uncles.I have a question that might come off like I am angry, which I'm more upset than angry.My husband and I have been having a problem... Funny enough it envoles work. I love my job! I don't know many people who can say that and really mean it. Everyday I wake up at 4am and work many hours and become very tired. Yet I am very excited to do it again.I work with a total of 3 people at once(There are probably 6 employees). There are only two guys that work there (My boss)- Which is one of the best out there. The other is someone I do not even bother talking about, he is so below my radar. I will be respectful at work but care about nothing.I work with dogs all day. I feed them,play,wash,take care,Etc. I do this everyday. I love animals. I very much so love this job everything I can about the job. My boss is very fair and cares much for the dogs he looks after. I have NO creepy vibes from him. The other person I don't have creepy vibes from but he is just not someone I would give respect to in the outside world. Every day when I come home I am tired,grumpy to the extreme, and tired.(It's a lot of work with those HUGE dogs) So in my fault, I take my anger out on my husband. It is wrong of me, I know but it is something that I am working on very hard. The two problems from this is;My husband does not seem to be so happy about this job, it's like he thinks there is more going on than there is.(Which there is not) I just honestly love my job, I have never been able to say that before and now I can. I get excited about it all the time. My husband just seems... un-supportive or believes there is more? How do I change this and let him know there is nothing? (I can't change him on the un-supportive note but maybe on the other?)The other is,How he seems to treat me when I am home. I understand that you would want to go out all the time when at home every day for long hours. I have no problem with going out after that. But he just does not seem to care that I need to take a nap. Or that I need just a break from everything. He turns it around on me a lot and this issue here causes a lot of problems. I'm unsure if I could tell you all the things that seem to spill from this glass. But there are many.I tend to get angry with him if things are not done, or if he will not leave me alone I say mean and awful things that I do not mean but it's like the only way to get him to back off when I need it. Please note that my husband is a good man on most things. He may not have a hour to hour job as myself but he is a sub-contractor and makes good money when the business is called upon. When he did this I was very lazy around the house and made him do much of the work... even rub my feet. ( I know this is wrong and I understand this now. Which I told him I am sorry for)But all I ask is that the house is cleaned(Which he does everyday for we have a daughter and he refuses to have any filth near her) and also to keep up with the washing. (Now I sound like a hypocrite when I say this but to be honest I have learned and just want to move on.)When he worked I slacked off on everything. I never really understood that it took a lot of energy and patience to do what he does. But know that I work a job with much energy needed I get it. I apologized many times to him for the problems I caused but he still always throws that in my face when I ask "why was this not done?" and even now he is reading this, making me feel horrible for just asking for advice.I'm trying hard to change how I was but it is hard for me to do if he is always saying "How come", "why" etc.. I get he does not go threw clothes or dishes etc as much as I do or anyone else who is in the house. But in my honest mind I think this is something he needs to take care of. He is at home for long periods of time. There are plenty of times that I come home from lunch and he is still in his night time apparel so I figure he is sleeping(When he is awake and working he gets dressed he hates wearing pjs) so I get a lil ticked. Thinking I'm doing all this and he is asleep....I guess my question is,Is there anything I can do in my power to work or change this?
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a break, at work, money, move on, my boss, period Reply to this Question
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female
reader, JessicaStarDust +, writes (16 August 2011):
JessicaStarDust is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you NotDoneYet.
I understand what you have said and I will try my best at what you have told me. Thank you very much for your honest response.
To be honest, it's hard to try to move forward when he acts so immaturely. (I.E) I come home today from a 13 hour shift. I'm tired, been nipped and attacked at. Had a pretty rough day. Yet I came in with a smile, He asked if we could leave immeditly when I got home. I did not argue with him and did so. I did mention that when I got home I wanted to relax and take a shower he was okay with that.
So I thought everything was fine that's when I asked him how is day was listened to it all acknowledged everything that I could give a response too. As soon as we got back I took a shower and I swear all the pain I have held back from the day hit me at once. Yet I still did what he asked for without being rude.
Sadly the night has been pretty bad. He is very depressed and shuts down. He is upset that I have a lot I need to take care of before I can be "all about him" I mean I just did a 13 hour shift with only 4 hours of sleep (he wanted somw last night) and instead of sleeping in tomorrow, I am taking him and his friend out so they can practice their skating.
I honestly do not have an issue with this but just wish he would see I am trying. Arg... men are so confusing!
The whole thing with this job is why I got it. I honestly thought (while I was looking for a job) that I would get something I hate,deal with it so we can move back to his home state that he misses very much. Which I do not mind.
But all these hours that I put in is so we can have a nice paycheck to take care of bills and yet have more than 100 to put down for moving.
Ugh. I have no idea what I am getting at I guess I am just venting. (I can't with him he gets to mad,)
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