A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Here it goes. I've been with my bf for over two years. We have amazing chemistry unlike any I've known. He tells me daily he loves me, compliments me says the sweetest things at times to me. Also, speaks a lot of marriage. The problem is he's extremely possessive, and controlling. He's accusatory almost daily if I'm busy and can't respond by text quick enough. He has access to anything I do online ie Facebook, email. He will remove people from my profile without telling me, read my mail, won't tell me. My profile consists of only family, and gfs that's it! He bought me a cell phone I'm sure its just to see numbers I call etc and is being demanding about us living together asap. I've discussed with him I'm feeling "smothered" and he needs to let me be who I am. I said u make me feel like a child that's being scolded you're not my dad, your my bf. He always says if I find out u chat with any male I will flip. I reassure him I don't have any desire. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. Recently, he left his cell bill out and I browsed through, as ours are combined he's been calling an out of town number and claims its business from his personal cell. It has me thinking is he behaving this way out of guilt of what he might be doing? He travels 3 times a year. When he goes out he never informs me. Yet expects to know everything I'm doing. I'm tired of this double standard relationship. I love him, but do u think its time to let go?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SillyB  +, writes (8 November 2010):
 My dear, you are in an abusive relationship.
A
male
reader, bjo84 +, writes (8 November 2010):
You can't allow yourself to be intruded like that. As a male, you need to tell this guy how it is or let go. I'm sure he loves you but clearly he has some security issues. You can't blame him for that but only accept it. If you're not willing to let him go, then I would suggest that you make the suggestion he seek help for his problems. As I see it, he does in fact have problems. Sure, we all have problems but the bigger problem, especially because of what society makes for us, is our inability to accept and get help for them. If he's unable to accept this then let him go. You're not a slave, you'e a human being who also needs autonomy. I would never do the things your man is doing to you. No matter how many times he tells he loves you or the chemistry that you have, control is a burden that will eventually smother the both of you. I hope this helps. Good luck!
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