A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes: Is it a good idea for me to isolate myself from women forever? I don't think anything good can come out of a relationship for me, and I often worry about catching STDs. I have had it off with prostitutes before. I don't think I have any STDs at the moment. But I am tired of playing games with women. All my life, they have ignored me, so now I want to just be left alone. Is this childish? Or is it the safest course of action? I am not a misogynist. I just find women extremely complicated and I often think life in general sux. What good comes out of relationships, anyway? I will be thirty-one years old in three days time. Why should I care any more?
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male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (23 April 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question There's this Parish Priest who walks up to the Pope, gets down on his knees, and says "Your holiness. I don't know what to do. I see so much suffering in the world and I do not belive in God any more."
And you know what the Pope says?
"Fake it."
Then the Priest says "You want me to lie?"
And the Pope says "Yeah. The whole whole revolves around lies. You can't get the truth out of anyone."
What's the point of all this? The point is finally...the truth has come out. The truth is we Aspies only see things from our own point of view. We don't value the opinions of others. We're remarkably honest and we demand the truth from others at all times.
But we still don't see things from other people's perspectives. That's why I don't understand women. I don't care what they think. And I can't fake it any more. I have to be honest about that.
Bla bla bla.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 FA - I was making the point that absolutely gorgeous girls many times fall for average looking or less than average looking guys all the time, because the guys either have money or an incredible personality. Look at Sandra Bullock and her (soon-to-be-ex) Jesse James. He's nothing special. Also, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee, who looks like someone hit him with the ugly stick 600 times.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Hey, YouWish,
I would like to explore what you said a little more. In one sentence you say Women aren't complicated, then later you say Billy Joel is an "ugly slug". I thought he had that Italian / Mediterranean swarthy look with the curly hair and all. Now I realize that there is no accounting for personal taste, but ugly slug?
I think that it is good that you bring up that women value different things than men do. This is something we all need to learn better. When we say women are "complicated" or relationships are "complicated", I think that what we are really saying is that it is hard for us to see things from a foreign point of view. It is difficult to remember that other people don't think the same way we do. You see I spend all this time worried about my long gone hair, only to find that it isn't important, I should have shaved it off at 25 and spent more time playing soccer. On the other hand as much as I appreciate beauty, I tend to spend time with women with personalities I like. For example I prefer Cindy Lauper to Madonna.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): Maybe, you need to find yourself and learn to love yourself before you can think about a woman in your life. Start investing some time into YOU. Do things that are nice for yourself. Counselling, meditation, exercise, yoga, art...... connect with yourself and love yourself, then you can have love with another.
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A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (23 April 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, I've thought about it now for a few hours. And not much has changed in how I feel. But yes, the Asperger's Syndrome could have something to do with this. My friends treat me like dirt sometimes though, and I can't stand some of my family members, so there is no-one to confide in at the moment.
All I have is the internet. Hopefully, the answers will come to me one day. Take care all of you and God bless. And make sure you say a prayer for me before you go to bed tonight. With God's help, I'll conquer these terrible problems. The world could look better when I am less depressed.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Bruce, you said you had Asperger's Syndrome in another post. Don't you think that might have something to do with it? How are you managing that? Do you have friends who can give you feedback on your social interactions with them?
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A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (23 April 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question What made me give up? Someone asks what made me give up? I'm not really giving up. I'm cutting my losses. My first kiss was with a prostitute. Yuk!
I have never been kissed by a woman without having to pay her money, so it's all quite depressing to think about.
I am not blaming others. I am just saying you have to cut your losses at some point. Things might change in a few weeks but at the moment I feel like shit.
But thanks for your answers. I will go away now and think about all this. Life goes on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): I think firstly you should talk to your Doctor and get a STD test. It is not hard and will put your mind at ease. If there is something then you can deal with it, everything in life is managable.
It sounds as though you are down at the moment and you maybe need some clarity in regards women. Talk to your Doctor and see if they can suggest a counsellor. It does all of us good to air our thoughts from time to time.
We all lose clarity on certain situations and life can deal us some hard realities, but by sharing your problems you can move forward and learn something about yourself.
And....don't give up on women yet.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 April 2010):
You know, if you want to be good at a sport or a trade or a specialty, it helps to ask an expert. Spend time with them, mirror them, study what makes them successful. Why wouldn't the same thing apply with meeting women?
You mention that you are sick of women, yet you're out visiting disease-ridden prostitutes. You need to seek out different women. You also need to evaluate your anxieties in social situations and overcome them. You also need to not punish the future women you meet because of your past traumas with past women.
Women aren't complicated. We respond to kindness, a sense of humor, and strength. If you come at us being weird and psycho and bitter, of course we're gonna run! Ever wonder why knockout supermodels like Christie Brinkley ended up with ugly slugs like Billy Joel? It wasn't his looks, that's for sure!
Be honest, and kind, and treat yourself well. Also, WATCH YOUR BREATH. Trust me, if you smell like you snack on onions, garlic, and vodka, you'll trigger a gag reflex in any woman you try and get together with! As far as your looks, you don't have to look like Brad Pitt, but the gym is your friend! And, you'll feel better about yourself too.
Don't give up on us women. :)
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 April 2010):
Hi Bruce,
I think forever is a long time. On the other hand, taking a break, even for a few years is not a bad idea. It could take some pressure off you. The world could look better when you are less depressed.
FA
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