A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ever since I was in middle school, people have constantly asked me if I was pregnant. It gets on my nerves. In church when I was middle school age, this woman came up to me, put her hand on my stomach, looked at me and said, "Are we having a little baby? Cos I just love little babies!!!" And I'm thinking later on, "Then go have one yourself!" When I was at a conference for college, a conference dealing with business and etiquette of all things, I had a professor come up to me and ask me if I was pregnant. Then she got these dumb ass big eyes at me and said, "You know that's what married people do." Then she acted like it was okay to ask me this since other people had asked me it before. This girl in my neighborhood has asked me twice if I was pregnant, and told me I looked pregnant sitting down, but also people have told me I look pregnant when I'm standing up. I've been told many stupid things, such as well, if your posture were better you wouldn't look that way. I feel even when I stand up it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. I really don't know if it does or doesn't. My lowest weight was 112 lbs, then i got to 115, then 131, then 156. I lost weight and am now 140, and having lost sixteen pounds and been keeping it off through jogging, today some girl asked me yet again, and it was the same girl, if I was pregnant. It pisses me off. Some days I feel so down and I feel like starving myself. I feel like crying sometimes, because all of that hard work for nothing. I researched some things, and even if I wanted abs, I would have to get the fat layer that is underneath gone first, so that it wouldn't be just abs on top of fat. I am 5'2 and 140 lbs. I am trying to get down to 125. Here's my problem in a nutshell: 1) What do I say to people who ask me this stupid question? 2)Is there anything I can do to get rid of this problem? Do I need to see a chiropractor for my back or something? Because no matter what weight I am at, people ask me this question over and over. I want to cuss people out, but then that will give them the advantage, because they will know that it pisses me off and keep doing it. My husband just doesn't seem to understand. I am glad that he loves me for the way that I am, but he doesn't seem to understand what comments like that do to my self-esteem. He doesn't make these comments, I'm just saying that he doesn't seem to understand. And I am not saying pregnant women look ugly, in fact there are beautiful pregnant women out there, and some hold the view that all pregnant women are beautiful, but it just gets on my nerves when people think I am pregnant. It also feels like they are undermining who I am. Why would I get pregnant when I am still living with my mom and haven't gotten started out on my own yet? Don't people expect better from me? Especially the ones that are supposed to know me? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2012): I have had this problem for all long time. I have had four c-sections, the last being 1993, yet still at almost 46 years old I still get "when are you due?" the advice i have gotten from this forum is much appreciated. I am 5"10 and 175 lbs, but ALL my weight centers around my midsection, Also has no gall bladder which causes bloating and in digestion. So i guess excersise and diet, along which digestive products might help me, still people are so rude, i have an eight year old grandson, haven'nt been pregnant in 19 years!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): hello i was reading what u posted about lookin pregnant. and i just wanted to let u no that i am here for u. i get asked the same qustions u were asked and i cried my eyes out EVERY DAY. but i have a health issues that makes my belly look huge and there is nothin i can do or nothing my doctors can do. so all we can do is pray and stick together. i also dnt feel good about myshelf people also started rumors aboout being pregnant. but i keep my head up and so should you :) bye for now
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A
female
reader, kitty0525  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 Hi.I would suggest working on your posture!!!!I know that alot of women who have large breasts tend to slouch, that gives a look of a pregnant belly, try to walk straight and make it a part of your workout routine!!! Also check your diet!!! You can exercise all you want but with a bad diet you will never reach your goal. And last but MOST IMPORTANT do cardio atleast 3 times a week!!!!I am 5'3 and 120 lbs but i worked for it and still do!!!So dont get your self down girl just work that stomac off and than you can go and ask that stupid girl if she is prego!!!! good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): I'm sorry to hear that. I also have been asked if I'm pregnant a lot lately, since I've had a baby. He's only nine months, and I was just feeling happy today after I weight myself and found that I'm only five pound from my pre pregnancy weight and am no longer considered over weight at all. My bubble was burst after a friend who I hadn't seen in a while looked at my belly today and asked my if I had another one on the way already. I guess that I need to do more crunches. How embarrassing. Really some people have no filter between their mouth and their brain.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): I have had the same thing and it breaks my heart. I am pretty thin everywhere else and feel useless and worthless whenever its said. Actually only ever six times in my life, but three this year - I hate myself when it is said and feel worthless and degraded. I hate seeing my profile in windows and mirrors if I forget to breathe in.. I also go to the gym, walk and am generally fit... I wish there was an answer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): I am consistently asked this question over and over again. I am a bartender so I cannot simply respond rudely to the people who ask. I just simply say no and look away. Yesterday, however, the woman who asked kept pressing the subject. "Oh, well then did you just have one...are you married?"
Seriously, why did she care so much?
My body is not very proportional. I am very skinny...skinny arms, legs...thin face, but the weight I do have falls around my stomach. I tend to wear loose shirts because I hate tight ones that only make my stomach stick out more. At first I thought...maybe it is the shirts I'm wearing...but the more I think about it. I think it is just people being ignorant. I am happy with myself and dont care what people think about me. I can do as many crunches as humanly possible but my body is my body. and if a man or anyone else doesnt like it....dont look at me. I think the world would be a more confident place if everyone would just shut their mouths.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): I get asked this very same question about once a week and I am close to tears every single time!! I just can't imagine asking someone if they are expecting!! I'm begging my husband for a tummy tuck! But for now I just say "No, I'm just fat. Thanks for reminding me." I've lost over 100 pounds in the last few years and I just want to feel good about myself!! :(
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (6 August 2009):
 Whatever happened to manners?
If someone were to ask me that, I would say something rude back to them. They asked for it.
You could say, "I just love manners! But you don't seem to have any."
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): sounds like you have some sort of digestive issue. at 5 2 140 lbs you should not look pregnant. try a digestive aid like enzymedica
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): My wife gets this all the time. Now when anyone asks, she says, "no, I'm just fat - thanks for pointing it out", which is guaranteed to embarrass the insensitive idiot.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): I know how you feel. It seems every time I go to church someone asks me if I'm pregnant. Just today some old mexican lady came up to me and rubbed her hand on my stomach and started going off about how wonderful it was that I was pregnant. I interrupted her tirade and said I AM NOT PREGNANT, and she got out of my way quick. I am so sick of people saying it. I am 5'3" and 165 lbs. I also tend to wear dresses that have high waists because they are more flattering, but that does not mean I'm pregnant! Some people just don't get it. The only time I comment about pregnancy is when I can see their belly button inverted and they are as round as can be. Country Woman: you mean Celiac disease.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think that I am going to do some crunches and try to build up the amounts that I do.
At first I was afraid to ask this question, but it turns out most of the responses were very supportive and understanding.
Thanks for all of your help.
As for the digestion thing-the last time I got a physical the woman pressed on my stomach and it hurt. So I do sometimes wonder if I have a problem in my stomach.
I am also going to keep jogging.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (25 May 2009):
Ok I started thinking about this this morning and there are millions of good one liners you could use...
My favourite so far is:
Are you pregnant?
No it's a massive in operable tumour.
Then just watch their face. Mwahahaha.
You could get to be really evil with this.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 May 2009):
Urgh, I would hate it if a stranger came and touched me. How can they think that's ok?
I'd have put my hands on her boobs and then said "No. Are you a lesbian? I love women who like to touch me." That would have taught her haha!
I think you best bet is too do some sit ups and then just accept that people are idiots and just say "No. Are you an idiot?" in the same patronising tone.
Sorry hun.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (24 May 2009):
 Unfortunately sweetheart there are some dumb people out there and they think it is OK to say this to you. More fools them, but everyone has a happy face thinking oh is that woman pregnant, how sweet.
They don't realise how awful it can be.
I have been struggling with my weight for many years now, really since having had my daughter. I am a lot lot heavier than you and my stomach balloons at certain times of the month around my cycle and also because I suffer with a condition called IBS (irratable bowel syndrome).
Do you have any problems with anything you eat at all?
Do you notice that your stomach looks hard and swollen at certain times of the month or does it constantly feel or look swollen?
I think it might be good to see your GP and tell them how depressed this is making you, it could be a hormone in balance or something quite simple.
It is NEVER easy when you are losing weight and you get comments like that, I once made a terrible mistake as I was out many many years ago with a crowd of women and I must admit I was very naive at the time, before I think I had ever had sex or a boyfriend for that matter. Anyway this woman was talking about pregnancy and I asked her when the baby was due, she then said oh she is 6 months old, oops felt awful as she still looked very pregnant at the time.
I don't everyone goes around trying to upset you as they see a baby as a joyous thing, but people do make assumptions without checking facts first of all.
I would firstly talk to my GP/Doctor and see what he/she recommends and maybe get a blood test to see if you have any allergies. You could be allergic to wheat/celeraic (can't spell it sorry). This can balloon your stomach or some other allergy.
It may be the way you stand or sit that could be making your stomach look more swollen but I am sure your doctor can advise you better than anyone.
If they ask, say NO I'M NOT, I am sure they will get the message. You don't have to elaborate further.
Just try and stay strong and when you are eventually pregnant you can shout it from the rooftops.
The people who do know you probably are just wishful as you are married and they are just not thinking sweetheart.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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reader, QuirkLady +, writes (24 May 2009):
 People are just rude sometimes. Since you can't smack them with a sock full of quarters, just say "no" and change the subject. I honestly do not know what makes some people think they can make comments about your body. Maybe they have some kind of politeness gene left out of them at birth.
A few of my friends have gotten nice stomachs using yoga and pilates. You could try that. Posture also does make a difference.
Good luck.
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