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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Where do I begin? I'm a 23 year old, brunette with brown eyes. Where I live, this is common, average and uninteresting. People usually compliment blondes or girls who have green or blue (or even really light brown eyes). Or lucky girls who have both. I feel really invesible.My body is also pretty uninteresting. It lacks that "whoa!" factor. I have small B cup boobs, I'm slim but not fit (I have insulin resistance so it's hard for me to stay lean), and wide hips, a big butt (which unfortunately has a lot of ugly cellulite) and big thighs which I know guys don't like, that also have cellulite. I'm what people call a pear shape, which apparently is bad, judging from all the "how to dress for your shape" articles that suggest evry tip to downplay the big hips and make the boobs look bigger... which to me sends the message that both small boobs and big hips are bad.I'm currently single and NOT looking for anything serious... but I find myself wanting to get attention. Just superficial attention to know I'm pretty and hot and beautiful... my friends who have big boobs or green eyes always get a ton of attention effortlessly, and they enjoy it a lot. I wish I received all that attention, too, but I feel invisible, especially when I go out with them. To guys I know I'm just a friend, or just a really nice girl, but none of them ever tell me I'm hot or beauiful or any of that, like they tell my friends.I just feel like if I don't get this attention, it must mean I'm ugly and any guy who goes for me is just settling or lowering his standards. It just really gets to me, and I know having low confidence is bad, but I'M NOT STUPID and it's obvious to me that looking good means more attention. I know tons of great looking girls with -1 self confidence who get flooded with attention, so it's not a confidence thing. I also know many ugly girls with tons of confidence who get no attention, at least not sexually, they have tons of friends but guys don't think of them as beautiful or anything. I just feel like crap and I envy these girls so much! Even my friends... which hurts, 'cause they are great people and I know they don't do it to me on purpose... I guess I just wish I was at their same level, but unfortunately I was born with an ugly body and unimpressive face, and they have green eyes and big boobs. How can I overcome this? I'm so tired of this, I'm so tired of wishing guys saw me as beautiful... also from the times I've hooked up with some guys, it always seems to me - or they have actually even told me things that make me think that they just go for me because my prettier friends or sister have turned them down... one day one friend was flirting with me and he mentioned something about my sister and I asked him if he liked her and he said "sure!! but I feel I'm not good enough for her, she's too much for me" which of course means he just settled and tried with me because he thinks I'm "less" than my sister and he lowered his standards for me... I'd already hooked up with him, but after that it was a huge turn off. With my ex he also went for me because another girl had turned him down and he was trying to get over her with me (sadly I only found out about that years into the relationship, otherwise I'd dumped him). I'm just tired of being overlooked, or being second best, of never attracting a guy just because he's impressed by me, by my looks, and always being the cheap alternative when they get turned down by prettier women.
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boobs, cheap, confidence, flirt, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 wait until yor 50 plus then you will know what invisible is
do you do sports or anyhting competative or play an instrument to give you another dimension to make you feel achievement
men shouldnot be the measure of how you feel about yourself they are shallow when in pulling mode theyre conditioned by the media . nothing wrong with you they just need to dig deeper to find what a great person you are
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): I know how you feel. I felt this way when I was in highschool. Just feeling inadequate. I also have dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. You need to embrace youself :) Do something about it, make a possitive change if you aren't happy! Go to the salon and get a makeover. Let them dye your base color hair lighter... then get some smokin hot highlights in your hair! Get a new hairstyle too. How about some beautiful makeup? Brown eyes pop with purple! Get some tips on how to apply your makeup. Shimmer is in right now and so sexy. Get some new clothes, something diferent and push up bras are great! I am a 34-b and you need to push those babies up! You do sound smart and definately have potential to gain some confidence. Guys look for a girl with her head up high. Go out by yourself and talk to diferent people. Go to other places. Leave those damn girlfriends at home LOL!! You need to create a new, confident you. Believe in yourself and the right guy will notice your beautiful exterior at first. That will open the door for him to get to know a wonderful person on the inside. ;) Go for it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): Its time to stop throwing this pitty party for yourself and do something about it. 1. Go to counseling about your self-esteem 2. hit the gym (get a trainer) - do weights and cardio and get into amazing shape. 3 Once you're physically looking better start pampering yourself - get your hair cut/colored beautifully, make an appointment and learn how to do great make up. 4. Go shopping (even hire a personal shopper to help you) and update your closet. 5. Work on your inner self (get educated, get an amazing career, speak well, carry yourself with confidence).
Once you get into more educated circles the way you look matters less than what is in your head, your life experience and ambitions.
Time to improve yourself hun. It'll take months- years, but you'll get there!
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A
female
reader, LovelyLemon  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Trust me, honey, I know how You feel! I would consider myself pretty, but very average. No huge boobs, not very thin. Just mostly average. But you know what? It really doesn't matter. You sound like a very attractive young woman. Maybe your features aren't what the media says all us women should have, but you are beautiful! Your friends may get hit on a lot, but that's just it. Hit on. Have they found that Prince Charming and settled down into a fairy-tale life? Probably not.
You are going to come across a guy, or several, that just can't keep himself away from you because of the whole you. Not just your physical body, but your mind, personality, and body together. This is the kind of love and attraction that is deep and real, not just some guy with his tongue out hoping to get laid.
Also, you have to be confident in yourself. I know it's hard, but you have to look at yourself and admit that you are beautiful. After you embrace yourself for everything that you are, even the parts you may hate, then you will carry yourself with infallible confidence that guys just die for. Remember that you are perfect how you are.
Much love and Best wishes
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