A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Recently I've been having really weird thoughts about my boyfriend's brother and it's actually starting to worry me.My boyfriend and his brother are hardly anything alike. Looks or personality wise. In fact, people joke that one of them is adopted. So it's not that he reminds me of my boyfriend or anything. The weird part is I think about him at the wrong times. Me and my boyfriend don't have as much of an exciting and thrilling sex life as we used to and sometimes when we have sex I get bored and my mind wanders. On several occasions I've started thinking about his brother! Not in a sexual way but it still makes me wonder why I'm even thinking about him whilst having sex. I've also had several dreams where I've had sex with him. And once when he came out clubbing with us I got drunk and kept staring at him. I don't really know what's going on. I wouldn't say I fancy him. I am deeply in love with my boyfriend and I'm hoping to spend the rest of my life with him. Me and his brother get on really well and we playfully flirt but not in a meaningful way.Please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 May 2012):
I think you summed the entire issue up already -- you and your boyfriend used to have a more exciting love life. You've fallen into a routine, and you're getting a bit bored.
What you need to do is redirect your thoughts. If you're getting bored with your sex life and things in general, you're 50% responsible for that. Time to switch things up with your boyfriend. Change positions, try new things, go new places.
Also, the way you interact with his brother, give that some thought here. Would you want your boyfriend interacting with another woman in the same way and with the same thoughts as you are with his brother?
If you are truly bored and there's no other way to go with your boyfriend, parting ways is always an option. I must say though, that good solid relationships take effort to freshen it, guard against taking each other for granted, etc. Concentrate on pulling your relationship out of its rut, because you thinking about his brother indicates something lacking in your relatinoship.
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