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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: okay im 16 and so is my cousin and we have a been very close friends since i was like 5 yrs old. and now for like two years we have been having realtions and we consider ourselfs as boyfriend, girlfriend now but the twist is he has a girlfriend and they have a baby together he says that he loves me way more then her and rather be around me but he goes to see them every weekend i understand that he has to see his baby but i kinda know for a fact that him and his gf are still having relations too i dont know wat to do we talk everyday we see each other alot and we go out just the two of us all the time and no our parents dont suspect a thing because we say other people are going. and there is another twist i may be pregnant with his kid too im so scared our parents dont even know about us. please if you have any advice please share with me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): Oh, honey... I'm going to go out on a limb here, and assume that your cousin is older than you are.
First of all, he's seeing both of you because you both let him. Don't get me wrong, it's not your fault that he is taking advantage of this situation, but he does it because you and this other girl have not told him "no more".
Second of all, a big part of the reason why he can get away with it is because he knows that you two cannot go public as a couple. While perhaps not illegal, a physical or intimate relationship between cousins is not socially acceptable. (Just in case you are Muslim like I am, traditionally it would have been ok, but it's kind of old-fashioned, and definitely not something we do in the West).
Third- think about if you really desire a future with him, and think about all that that would mean: you likely would have to move somewhere far away where you knew no one to avoid the negativity. If you do have a child together, you would have to be careful that the child never found out that you and the father were related (teasing at school, etc.). Also, this would likely tear your family apart.
Think long and hard before you act. Talk to him about your concerns, see what he says. If you ask him to go public or to tell your family and he is full of excuses then he likely does not feel the way he says he does.
Good luck, love!
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