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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is 21, im 20. I'm currently at university but travel back every weekend, not purely to see him, but thats one of the main factors. we used to text pretty much all day everyday for the past year that we've been going out, this made up for the lack of time i saw him in the week. However he's recently got a job where he's so busy we barely get to talk, let alone about anything worthwhile? I'm not saying our relationship is defined by texting and calling etc but i think when i only see him on the weekend, the communication has to be made up somewhere else.When I am home on the weekends, its literally a passing by visit; I'll see him late on a fri/sat, stay the night, then go in the morning. Due to him working on sat/sun we don't hang out in the day. I also attend church sun mornings so have to leave his early for that.Now that I'm back for the holidays I thought this would change and we could spend more time together, however its not. He seems to make plans for every night of the week after work and I'm the one that has to fit around HIS plans. Although this isn't a problem and I'm available i still want time to be made for me, not to just fit in when suitable for him. When he's not making plans for every day of the week we still don't seem to hang out much more than 1 or 2 days. When we do spend time together its great and we have so much fun, and a great sex life. I just feel quite distant from him right now and like we have things off balance. I don't want us to break up as we are a really good pairing, but i something needs to change. Does anyone have any advice on this or how to approach it when talking to him? solutions? thank youuu!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey just thought i would update and tell you that i spoke to him and he was really understanding and said this job is only temp and hes gonna make a massive effort to see me more etc. he was so nice about it and was sad that i felt this way and hadnt even mentioned it. so thank you for your advice and helping meee :)!!!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thank you so much for replying ! i have questioned that hes in it just for the sex, and that hes less serious than i am. but he makes future plans like 3 years away for when ive finished uni. hes going away for 3 months next year to oz and wants me to go stay with him etc which makes me think well clearly hes looking into a future with me so cant be that casual.
i will talk to him and let him know how im feeling and that id like to spend more time together. again thank you for your advice :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): It sounds like he might be in it for the sex, as he hardly spends any time with you. What is he doing all the rest of the time? If he is going out, why can't he take you along?
It's obvious you are not happy with the small amount of time you spend together, so you need to tell him it isn't enough for you and see what he says and does. It could be that he is much more casual about it than you are.
At least when you talk about it you can find out whether he is prepared to give you more of his time. It could be also that he got into this habit and hasn't adjusted to your being back around.
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