A
female
age
36-40,
*carlettxx
writes:I've been seeing my ex again for around six weeks and it seemed to going well but... My problem is he used to text me a fair bit through the day, not loads but enough to know that he does like me. Now though I only get one text a day and he leaves hours and hours to reply to my text, like 7 hours and that's not even when he's in work. We only see each other I'd say once every two weeks as well... We're only seeing each other but I'm kinda confused as to what's happening here... Like if he doesn't text me I won't bombard him with texts, I don't text him until he gets back to me and he will most likely text first but when I reply he'll again take hours to text back. Then when we're out together he seems really interested and attentive and will talk about future dates but he never ever suggests a date after... I have to do everything. I suggest when we go out, where we'll go, what time etc... he never ever asks me. I'm very confused...So sometimes he makes me think he's not interested and sometimes he makes me think he is... I just need other people's interpretations of this situation :) Thanks :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): I'm dealing with something similar right now, so perhaps I'm not the best person to speak about this as I'm too close to the issue.It sounds like the relationship is not as high a priority in his life as it is in yours. The question is whether it's temporary or not. Is he really busy at work, or stressed out about something? Is he kind of a loner? Perhaps your version of a good amount of contact in a relationship and his version of a good amount of contact are different.Discovering that you make a relationship a higher priority than your partner isn't a bad thing. First, ask yourself if you have an unhealthy fixation on your relationship. If you're obsessing about your relationship ad naseum instead of thinking about other things that are happening in your life, perhaps you've lost some sense of self.If however you feel like you've got your priorities screwed on straight and your boyfriend isn't giving you the attention you feel you deserve - there's a good shot he's just not that into you.Regardless, I'd say it would make sense to have a chat with him about what he feels is a good level of contact. Talk about the level of contact you're used to/expect, and he can do the same. Perhaps you can come to some sort of workable agreement for both of you that makes you both happy and doesn't leave one person feeling neglected and the other overburdened.Best of luck!
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