A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im an Asian guy whos luckily considered really good looking in western's eyes. despite what people see, i want them to look at me cos more than a good appearance i've got, there's a good heart i own. i know i don't have to be with a good looking person in order to find happiness, i belive in faithfulness and true love, but love has never come to me. Chances are rare to me cos im not bisexual, and all the guys who want to commit with sb are out, i know giving people a chance is also give myself one, but the risk of being exposed haunts me.Then this tallest, sweetest, hottest English guy showed up. Even when he has never been with a guy, he kissed me like there was no tomorrow on the 1st time we hung out. The 1st time we made love, he knew how to do everything and i thought wether he lied or he had always been ready to be with a guy.I have known him for 4 months now, everything was really intensive at first cos he realized i like him and wanted to end it. i had to lie to him and myself a lot so eventually we made it through.he took adventage of me being honest abt how special he means to me, kept me waiting via texts and dinied to hang out from time to time. because of liking him, i always tried to bump into him. i got tired and decided to let him go. He texted me, he found me, held me in his arms and spun me around and around. i thought i was the only option and things would change once he gets with the second guy, but he told me he never thought about guys and abt sleeping with them until he met me, he still doesnt like them and find them hot but me.Now after all the ups and downs:- He decieded not to go home with girls in front of me cos he knows it hurts me.- He starts to know to be jealous even when he say he doesnt care, he comforts me and tries to explain when i get jealous with somebody.- I got braces and find myself so unattractive, but it doesn't change the way he kisses me so passionately. - He starts avoid things i don't like, gets me talk when i'm quiet and makes me smile. - The sex between us is getting better and better, as a guy, im like the only one who's able see to his wildest desires and let this almost 2 meters kid sleep in my arms. Dear Cupids, pls lighten me with ur arrows.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): You want your guy to commit. I'm afraid he isn't up for that. You are an alternative pleasure for him. A treat on the side.
He isn't willing to give up his "straight" image; and he is keeping his bisexuality a secret. He is mostly using you for sex; he is not really in love with you.
At your age, you will deeply attach feelings without looking at the whole picture. You are caught up in his looks, and swept away by his attention. He is using that to his advantage.
You desperately want love so badly, you see only what you want to. He comes around now and then. You enjoy his company, you have sex, and then off he goes back to his acceptable life.
You cling with the belief you can't let go; because he's all you've got. That's only true, if you're not making yourself available for anyone else.
It's a huge world. If you can find one, you can always find another. Too many of us hide as gay people, and use online dating to shop for flesh. So you have to get past a lot of superficial duds to find what you want and need. That takes time. So just be patient.
It seems no one is available unless you pay some exploitative dating service; or hookup online. Few want to commit. They go through a series of dates for nothing more than sex, and pretend profiles even matter. Thus you feel your options are limited. Not really. People found people when computers didn't exist.
People of true substance are harder to find. You want to fall in love. Stop searching and let it find you. It's not like you can go out looking and instantly find him waiting on a corner. It takes a series of events that lead up to that moment of fate. So you make the search more fun when you stop searching with a mission. You're young, handsome, and free. Enjoy it. You have a guy who likes to you and girls.
So don't expect him to be a boyfriend. Just a date for now. Wait and see what happens over time. If he's a player, you'll tire of the games and dump him anyway.
Here's something you have to realize. You are in an imaginary world. You want fairytale love. It does not exist. So come down to earth. Look through the eyes of an adult. Then you won't just settle for being some boy-toy for a good-looking closet-case.
If you're tired of being used by this guy; end it. He is lying when he tells you you're the only male he likes. He just prefers having his freedom, and tells you that to make you feel special. That's the only way you'll remain available to him. You may be his only choice among men for the moment; or to your knowledge.
You should be more receptive to other people checking you out. Stop falsely committing yourself to this one guy. Go out enjoy yourself just as he does.
Maybe when he sees you've stop waiting, he'll come around to stay.
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