A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My friends hurt me sometimes but i'm afraid to let go because I dont know are they my friends?Are they my real friends? What is your opinion.?So I am in this group of 6 girls. I'm 18 and they are 16 and 17 year olds. I started school late and so i'm older. I am the sort of person who gets on better with older people. All my siblings are in there 30's and i am also in an 8 month relationship with a man in his early 30's. I find sometimes that my friends are quite childish and fight over very silly things and I am beginning to wonder...are they my real friends? I don't like night clubs and for the past few months they are getting into it , they pressure me so much to go and when i say no they tell me oh your afraid of boys your a lesbian (I haven't told them about my relationship as they really put a girl down for dating a guy 2 years older). Well anyways the girls have been quite mean at times. For instance I am not a very outgoing person and when I turn down going out with them one girl said your the most boring person i know and she started going on about where she goes and how many guys shes kissed and her skirts and heels and how she says i'm 18 and kissed no one . I said another day to her I must go into town for shopping she was like wow you going to town seems to be a big deal for you making me feel I don't know boring as hell :/ My other friend (leader of the group ) goes onto me telling me what I should do as in oh you should get out more and she pinches playfully which hurts me calls me a freak all the time and when I refuse to go to night clubs shes on to me saying oh you don't have to dress up or wear make up if thats whats stopping you and keeps mailing me about i'm 18 and should go to these night clubs and that theirs no excuses. They just make me feel so boring and dull . My family and boyfriend know I like to dress up and go out but I enjoy bars cinema or out for dinner then night clubs which they hate . I have also suffered depression for three months luckily my boyfriend has helped me so much along the way but there was times i'd come home crying because they would be so stupid with comments to me that I didn't know how to handle as i am very soft as a person. They sometimes stand beside me going on about how fat they are when its clear they have the bodies that I don't . I'm tired of it and I can't tell are they being my friends or what . Their was even a childish fight between me and the leader of the group last Christmas when I used the word concur and she keptt informing me oh its my word i had it first and made me feel **** even though shes 17. What should I do? Are they my friends or what? I'm confused to know how to let go and move on if not.
View related questions:
christmas, lesbian, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (11 July 2013):
 You can't let people define who you are. If you're happy with your family and your boyfriend, who are they to ruin that? If they're actually your friends, they'd be happy with whatever you want to do with your life.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (11 July 2013):
Hi there. Your tastes in socializing venues, is quite different from your friends, and so there is no use in pretending to like night clubs, if that isn't what you enjoy.
The problem here is that your tastes are in great contrast to your friends' tastes, and never the twains shall meet.
You probably do need to be honest with them, and say you can't go out because you have a boyfriend.
You don't have to tell them his age, it isn't necessary at all.
At least then, your friends will know WHY you can't go out.
It will at least make things a little easier between you and them, for sure.
You can still be friends at school, but only see them sometimes, outside of school.
Perhaps you could sometimes, meet up for a coffee, and a chat.
I think it is time for you to be honest with them.
And honesty is always the best policy, and you really can't go wrong.
And then, you will ALL be on the same page.
I really believe it will solve a LOT of the problems that have been happening up until now.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): Ya know when you're a few years older, you'll look back on this and realise they're a group of banal bitches playing playground politics- ? Lol I mean you'll often find that you can't trust people but these girls are acting like they're 14, and yet they're almost of age! Legally able to vote, drive, drink and what not? You'll also realise that someone who doesn't have the sole interest of going out clubbing and likes to do a variety of things is the opposite of boring. Really, what are they passionate about? Bitching and making others feel small... These are 100% NOT your friends, so I advise do your best to wash your hands of them and distance yourself. You are going to meet SO many interesting, zany people throughout your life- since the age of 20 I've met some hilarious people ill never forget... I.e a guy that jumps into ponds in the middle of January, buys fish and names them after medical terms, you NEVER know who you're guna meet. All you can do is be the person you want to be a d treat others how you would want them to treat you. You're way more interesting than them and you have a good heart. :) Depression is so common these days and often people are physiologically predisposed to it. I have it, along with anxiety and you're not on your own. You don't wan2 bother with anyone who doesn't support you, whatever they say I.e pull yourself together. Research it maybe? Take care anyway :) xx
...............................
|
