A
female
age
36-40,
*rincess T
writes:I discovered the other day that my boyfriend watches porn. I'm terribly insecure about our sex life as it is as i do not cum from just sex as most women don't and i worry that this may put him off. I don't want to start 'Faking it' but after discovering his 'habit' i feel even more convinced that i am not satisfying him. I work as a dancer (burlesque) - because I am student in London and I need to be earning good money, my boyfriend hates my job and says it is perverted as are the men that watch it.......but how is him watching porn any different? I don't know how to handle this situation.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): don't be insecure. and don't be jealous and controlling. esp. considering that other men are going home and using your performance as their own wank material (nothing wrong with that). and faking it is the weaksauce answer: work out a satisfying solution for the both of you. my girlfriend is the same way, no O from the sex. but, i love going down on her and when she wants to cum while we have sex, she uses her vibrator (or I use it on her, either way).simple problems dictate simple solutions. i also highly doubt his porn use has anything to do with being unsatisfied: don't internalize something that is private to him and that, quite frankly, has nothing at all to do with you. accept that he loves you and move on to figuring out how to legitimately improve your sex life.
A
female
reader, katiebudge +, writes (17 February 2011):
 if I'm honest i would say all men in some way are perverts and so are women to be honest, everyone looks at someone else from time to time, of course in some situations it is completely disgusting. but anyway, its good that your trying and making things exciting, maybe he's just not good at sharing and expressing his feelings he probably loves what your doing but maybe insecure himself about showing it. and he shouldnt be watching any sort of porn if hes with you really, there should be no need. especially watching other women just pleasuring themselves, if that is the case and thats what he enjoys maybe do it yourself in front of him, see if that changes his mind :) x
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A
female
reader, Princess T +, writes (16 February 2011):
Princess T is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI approached him earlier today, asking him if he ever watched porn and he said he hadn't for years and people that do are disgusting perverts! Does that mean he classes himself as a pervert? Im a very expressive sexual person yet i find him to be more vanilla, I do often dress in sexy underwear and high heels and it definitely helped us get a little naughtier and et him know i really enjoyed having sex with him. The type of porn he is watching is mainly female masturbation rather than intercourse. x
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A
female
reader, katiebudge +, writes (16 February 2011):
im sorry about your situation, but i think he's watching porn because he might not want to have sex because of the "men" he thinks are watching you. its his revenage maybe, but if you enjoy doing your job then you continue its your life. and dont be insecure. make things more sexy to help. wear lingerie, have a romantic evening, try dirty talk, foreplay just try to make it more interesting so then you feel more turned on and he'll know your making an effort to please him, maybe do a sexy dance for him, light candles in the room and listen to sexy music, do whatever you can to make yourself feel sexy and even if it doesnt go amazing at least it was more exciting for you and your boyfriend knows your trying. he may be watching porn because he wants to do it like he watches in porn so maybe watch some with him, watch it together so you both get the same feelings then say to him why dont we try that. the more he sees you trying the less he'll need porn. but if he is doing it because he doesnt like your job then talk to him about it, its not fair for him to control your life, if you want to do that job then do it its not up to him. but of course your going to be tired from your job and being a student so doing these different things will get you back in the mood, that's what you need. but seriously dont worry too much it may be you worrying, because you feel insecure but if he's watching too much porn make sure you let him know how it makes you feel. i hope this helps
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