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anonymous
writes:Ive made the decision to never drink and I think ive made a good decision for myself, however I feel that so many poeple look down upon me for it, or think m weird.Im about to meet my bfs friends for the first time and my bf even says they are heavy drinkers (my bf doesnt drink much at all, but he still does drink a bit). Im worried that his friends wont like me because i dont drink. Its like as soon as they meet me and offer me a drink and i say no, they ask if i drink at all and i say no....then soon enough they find some excuse to turn there back on me.This always happens with sooooooo many people.What can i do to stop this? how do i deal with this? It really hurts because I dont understand why its such a big deal to people if i drink or not. It does not affect them at all! If anyone has the right to not like someone due to their drinking habits it would be me- not likeing poeple who drink to the excess because their actions while drunk affect me. But i dont hate them for it...Im just so scared his frineds wont like me and they will turn him against me like my ex bfs friends did. They saw me as weird because i wasnt into partying and drinking etc and told my ex bf that i was weird...soon enough he dumped me because of that. By the way I am 18 years old. Ive never had one drink of alcohol and im dead set in not having one...so please dont anyone tell me it woudlnt hurt to have a few here and there...
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male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (12 October 2007):
Your decision is yours to make. Drink sodas even if you need to bring them with you. Don't expect to become fast friends with people whose main recreation is drinking. Just don't lecture them on their evil, they alredy know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): When they offer you a drink, instead of saying 'no', just ask for a soft drink, otherwise, as the previous writer said, you may appear distant. I feel like that when I ask someone for a light and they say 'no, I don't smoke' really pointedly. I wish they'd just say 'no, I haven't got one'..but anyway...you are right to stick to your guns and not be forced into drinking when it isn't for you - so well done on that score. Many people would be jealous that you can be so self assured and not made to do something you don't want, and perhaps there is an element of that with his friends. When a large group of people are drinking and there is one person who doesn't drink, it can make those drinkers feel awkward, because they feel that after a few drinks you are not on the same 'level' as them. People get more merry as they drink and don't want to embarrass themselves by talking to someone who is sober - but as long as you are still good fun and join in with their banter without judgment, then the problem lies with them. You could be better off without this man if he doesn't respect your decisions.. XX
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): Hi there, I think each person makes this decision for themselves. I have a friend who married a girl like you, and yes, it was weird with her going out with us. She was, quite frankly, a drag to be around at the pub...and in general. I cant say that you are a drag. But people go out drinking with their friends to have a good time, and anyone who is a drag (drinker or not) is the opposite effect. My friend's girl always wanted to go home early, or make my friend go home early, pretty much 'raining on the parade'. This turned my friend into the guy that cant do anything because his wife will get mad. Which in turn, makes us dislike her even more for controlling him.
So, my advice is to drink a non-alcoholic drink to attract less attention to the fact that your hand is empty. Be very talkative. Act a bit as if you were drinking alcohol. If that doesnt work, maybe just don't go out with your boyfriend and his friends.....or find a guy that doesn't drink.
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female
reader, beauty585 +, writes (12 October 2007):
 here it goes....your doing the right thing and being the healthy one..dont beat yourself up bcuz u feel that people dont like you because of that...if thats the case i dont think you should be hanging around people like that..tell your bf that u dont wanna be around them because of this..and if he doesnt understand then hey maybe you need a new one who doesnt have friends like that or who doesnt drink at all just like you..good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): My father has been teetotal all his life, and that's over 85 years. It's not done him any harm, he looks at least 20 years younger and I dare say a lack of booze has something to do with that. Never has he knowingly let a drop pass his lips (although he has had the odd 'sherry flavoured' trifle!). No-one thinks any less of him for it, and he's never had any trouble socialising.
The next time someone offers you a drink, do like my dear old dad, either ask for a lime and lemonade or a glass of orange juice instead of saying "No thanks, I don't drink", which might possibly make you sound a little aloof in 'drinking' company.
Phil
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reader, angelblueeyes  +, writes (12 October 2007):
 Hi, Fistly i think what you have decided is great, I too don't drink and neither does my husband.
I agree that some people find it hard to understand why you don't drink, its almost like they don't know how to interact with you because you are not drunk.
But i strongly believe that you can have as much fun if not more when sobber, you clearly don't need the drink to interact with his friends so go out there and have fun don't worry about what they think, your the better person for having the clean body and getting up the next day knowing how you behaved or what you did and and you won't have the bad head!! All i can say is good luck and don't give in, i wish there was more people like you!
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reader, TELLULAH +, writes (12 October 2007):
 Hi,
I dont know why anyone should look at you different because of that, its just stupid. So what if you dont drink, you enjoy yourself dont you?. Do you drive by any chance, because if you do I would think you are a great girlfriend to have. My brothers wife has never been a drinker, but she is great company. And my brother never has to worry about who will drive home.
It could be that people are scared that you wont be on the same wave-length. So all you have to do is be yourself and show them how great you are. Your EX must have been very shallow to listen to his mates rather than you.
Well done for sticking up for what you believe in.
XX
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