A
female
age
26-29,
*eile
writes:Here's some background info:Both me and the new Guy, J are taken separately.We both knew each other about a year ago, and right now we're both in a serious relationship with our significant others.The first time we knew each other, I was single.There were some sparks, but knowing J was with someone, I knew that's there's no possibility of us getting together.He liked me, and I liked him, but no action was taken.After a while, when I was taken, we started being friends. (Exclusion of our counterparts) We would go out together with our mutual friends and have fun.And well, we got to know each other better.Once we took the same route home, we started playing around, poking each other and wrestling about, time passed by, making him miss several buses to home.But we had fun.When we grew tired and stopped,J rested his head on my lap and he would pat my head often. (And etc.)All the interaction I have with him had re-ignited the crush I had on him all over again.The next day, J then realised that we shouldn't be doing that, knowing that our significant others wouldn't like that.Saying, that he would control himself from now on.But... All of this interaction have made me like him back again. I can't stop thinking about him.How can I stop liking him but staying as friends?I've been preferring him over my boyfriend..Not being friends is not an option.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 October 2012):
 I don't think you can be "just" friends with this guy, so the only real option I see is stop talking to him and being around (but have the decency to tell him)
This "crushing" on another guy when you are dating someone is NOT OK when it's a person you spend time with in the way you seem to spend time with him.
It's VERY borderline emotional cheating.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 October 2012):
 Why must you and J be friends really? You have known each other for a year, it's not like you are childhood friends. Focus on your relationship with your boyfriend and detach yourself from J, to the point that you are not daydreaming about him anymore. Then see if your boyfriend is enough for you. The grass is not greener on the otherside. You just have to mow your lawn. If your boyfriend just doesn't do it for you, break up with him. Then you are free to pursue your passion with someone else or if J also broke up with his girlfriend.
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