A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am supposed to be getting married this Saturday, but i really don,t want to and i am scared. im 21 my dad wants me to marry him but i don't love him, i don't even like him. its not about religion or anything. my dad just thinks he will be good for me i love someone but my dad says he is not good enough he is a horse racing jockey he doesn't want me to go through with it should i go through it?? is it too late to cancel?? i am so confused my dad has spent so much money on my wedding
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female
reader, vjjw  +, writes (16 March 2015):
If you don't love him dont marry him. You will be miserable
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2015): You have done the right thing. You should only marry for love. Whilst this is a torrid time it will get better. I was your age when I married the wrong man. I realised too late it was more about parental approval. Parental approval is no good when you are lonely and isolated in a loveless marriage. You have my total respect for being brave and true to yourself. X
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2015): thanks everyone. i am not going to do through with it i have told my dad and he is not very happy he is trying to get me to change my mind.
i have also told my fiancée he said its too late but i just cant do it
i am staying at a friends for a while until my dad calms down
thanks for your advise everyone
i just hope i have done the right thing
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 March 2015):
 Tell your dad to cancel the wedding or he's going to pay in another way. In the uk it is criminal to force your child to marry against her will. He could spend up to 7 years in jail. In the meantime be prepared you will have to move out and stand on your own feet. What does your mom have to say about this?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 March 2015):
 If your Father thinks that he is such a "catch"... then ask HIM to marry this guy!!! YOU, meanwhile, would be wise to get your a$$ out of town, so that you can't be bamboozled to be at the church where this guy (who you don't even like!) is expecting to get married.
If you need a place to hide out, P/M me... and you can stay here....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, CattyCat +, writes (12 March 2015):
 You do not have to marry anyone.
If you don't want to. Don't.
Your Dad should not have forced you, he's not allowed to.
You can say no.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2015): Honey your dad should want what makes you happy and if he doesn't then something is wrong. It's not too late to cancel! I think you should. I'm scared for you too if you end up stuck in a marriage with someone who's totally wrong for you
Don't do it, there's still time. Be brave sweetie and good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2015): It is definately not too late to cancel, but tell your fiancee now, don't leave him waiting at the altar.
Start returning any gifts, and start calling the people you invited and let them know too, before they start to show up at the venue and waste a trip.
You may also be able to get some money back from the venues if you cancel, but probably not everything. Trust me, it will be much cheaper this way than a divorce later! Just an expensive mistake. If you get down, just eat some of that cake to feel better!
I know it will be hard, embarassing, and may stress your and your father's relationship for a while, but you have to start living your own life. Do not let your father make one of the most important decisions of your life for you! He loves you anyway & will come around.
You are so young, you have lots of time to find a good man. You may not marry the jockey you have the hots for now, just let your dad know that. Reassure him you will find the right guy, it just isn't "Bill" right now.
Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2015): Don't marry him.
It's your dad's fault for losing all his cash IF he really is the one who pressured you so much into this whilst knowing you don't want it.
At 21, you should have told NO much earlier and in much clearer way, BUT you can't spend the rest of your life married to someone you don't even like!!
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