A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband is not affectioniate towards me now that i am pregnant, i feel so alone and not loved, What should i do? please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, soon2bemommy  +, writes (9 December 2008):
It really does mess with your head. I've felt so unloved lately. My hubby hasn't even hugged on me or anything in over 3 months. That feels horrible because I come from a loving and affectionate family. I feel like I cry the whole time I'm home with him. I'm finding it easier to just leave and stay gone the whole day. Are there any suggestions on how to talk to him about this? I would really appreciate it. I am glad to know that I'm not alone though.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): i'm going through the same thing now, it's horrible it kind of messes with your head, i fully understand. If you can just go out all the time and meet up with friends, use every spare time to be out. You won't feel it as much then. Take care hun.xx
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A
female
reader, velvetluv21 +, writes (18 April 2008):
I had the same thing happen to me. Just because he was afraid to have sex, he seemed to cut out all affection. He wasn't ever really affectionate anyway but at the baby shower he showed off a bit so I knew it was just him being him. I dunno what he was thinking.... like if I give her a hug she'll want sex. Men are so out in left field sometimes. I had my son about 6 weeks ago and he's slowly becomeing more interested again. Don't worry too much. You can let him know how you feel but try not to take it personally.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 April 2008):
 I'm assuming he was more affectionate before your pregnancy. Sometimes guys are really weird around pregnant females. He may be afraid that having sex will hurt the baby, or that you probably don't feel like it, you know along those lines. Perhaps he afraid that if he cuddles with you he'll be unable to control his sexual urges. All this can be cleared up by just sitting down and speaking to him about it all. And congrats on the new baby!
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (17 April 2008):
 I had the same thing with my partner. You poor thing. I know how it feels - awful. But remember: your beautiful baby is growing inside you all the time, and he or she will be with you always, and will always love you. When you feel very rejected by your husband, comfort yourself by thinking about the baby and bonding with him/her. Maybe you're not pregnant enough yet to feel the baby moving, but when the baby starts moving, you will know you aren't alone.
It's very hard to tell someone to be affectionate towards you if they aren't being. It's not something you can force. All you can do really is to suffer quietly and hope that at some point he will start being nice to you again. I think if you confront him too much it will push him even further away. I cried for hours, and he would just get cross with me and try to ignore me.
He's still not right now. Our baby was born 2 weeks ago, and she is a little angel. He adores her, but I am not really getting anything like the love I would like (and I do think I vaguely deserve some love, given everything! I give a lot). But it doesn't really matter what I think, because I can't change him. I suspect you're in the same situation.
Just wait. Hang on in there. He will very likely be better after the baby is born.
And remember you AREN'T alone now : )
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