A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:Every time someone tries to help me, I throw it back in their face because I am disappointed with everything that's happened to me in the past. The worst years of my life was from the ages of 14 to 19.The years 1994 to 1998 were bloody terrible. I developed an obsession with wanting a girlfriend and I was bullied at school. But now, I worry about other things. Nothing specific, just all the bad things I can think of.My question is...Is anything ever going to change? Or will I always have flashbacks to that period?How do you stop flashbacks? It feels like those 5 years are going to ruin the rest of my life because I keep thinking about them.Can someone help? I need to get that time warp out of my head.
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female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Hi, having read your followups I have one question before I try to offer you some advice - what exactly do you mean by your psychologist "judging" you on that period of your life? In regard to what the other aunts have said, I would agree that this is a critical issue you should be discussing in depth with your psychologist - one way to get rid of your flashbacks may be to simply try to avoid them, but I think a more constructive way of dealing with them may be to really come to terms with whatever happened in that period, by sharing (and comparing) your perspectives with your psychologist's.
A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (15 May 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question I will get around to reading the book at some point. I will write it down. But the point I want to make is that we all have different values and philosophies. We all interpret the exact same situations differently sometimes.
My Psychologist has tried his hardest to help. But he wasn't there during 1994 to 1998, and he didn't see the suffering I went through in that period.
So, is it possible that he shouldn't judge me if he didn't see exactly want I went through in those years?
Thanks for the advice though Tisha-1.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Me again.. one more good book to read... "Shoot the Damn Dog" by Sally Brompton. Once an editor of a UK newspaper, depression knocked her down. She's not cured, but she dose many of the things that you've been advised to do, and now knows how to deal with her condition as best as she can.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (15 May 2010):
B12 is also good.. Please listen to the aunts and uncles, they are giving you good advice, and may (shock, horror) know more than you.
Your frame of thought at the moment is limiting and negative, that's a symptom of your depressive illness.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (15 May 2010):
I see psychologist, and I also read buddhist stuff. I have severe clinical depression and am on medication and under the mental health services. The doctors I have seen are happy when they see the books I'm reading. They say continue to read the buddhist point of view, it will save your life and bring you happiness at last.
All the doctor's I've ever met, consider yoga and buddhist frames of mind powerfull for making the best out of life.
I recommend you listen to what Tisha is saying, she knows what she is talking about.. At the moment you are trapped in the past. But the past is dead and gone, the future is unknown, your destroying your present and putting your future happiness in jeapody, and you can't seem to see that other ways of thinking may release you and help you to learn better ways.
Congnative Behaviour Therapy may also help. New form of counselling treatment recommend dealing with the present, and minimising your concentration on the past which you are unable to change.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 You don't know what the book is about. You haven't read it.
I gave you the first page and you decided that you knew it all. You don't.
I think it would help you. But you've chosen not to even read it. That means you have a fixed idea and aren't really open to the advice you seem to be seeking.
What makes you think your psychologist isn't listening?
I'd be curious to see what your psychologist thinks about this book I've suggested.
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A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (15 May 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs philosophical advice better than practical advice?I guess we all have a different opinion on that. At a Psychiatric Ward, someone said the Psychiatrists or Psychologists there prefered to give practical advice.Everyone goes through depression sometimes. And I'm on medication for it.But what is the point of all this? Maybe books on suffering would give philosophical advice. I'm not saying there's anything bad about that. I'm just saying life goes on and shit happens, and then it hits the fan.Thanks for your answers though. They were both excellent.I will try to mention this dark period of my life to my Psychologist (if he will listen).
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 May 2010):
If you're stuck in the past, you need to work through the traumas you experienced--a psychologist should be able to help.
If you are into trying self-help ideas, there is a classic book that I highly recommend for you: The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, M.D.
The book starts:
"Life is difficult.
"This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.* It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.
"Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they moan more or less incessantly, noisily or subtly, about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy. They voiuce their belief, noisily or subtly, that their difficulties represent a unique kind of affliction that should not be and that has somehow been especially visited upon them, or else upon their families, their tribe, their class, their nation, their race or even their species, and not upon others. I know about this moaning because I have done my share.
"Life is a series of problems. Do we want to moan about them or solve them? Do we want to teach our children to solve them?
"Discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life's problems. Without discipline we solve nothing."
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*The first of the "Four Noble Truths" which Buddha taught was "Life is suffering."
That is the start of the first chapter in my copy of the book. I recommend you acquire it and read it. Every time you find yourself flashing back to that awful period in your life, pick up the book and read from it. Every single time.
I think it would go a long way in helping you understand that your problems, while they are intense and awful to you, your problems are not unique nor unknown to others. You are not the only one in your situation. How you choose to deal with your situation is in your control.
Go get that book and read some of it. Then let me know what you think.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (14 May 2010):
 being unable to ignore negative memories is a symptom of depression- go to a doctor. if you dont seek medical help you may find it difficult to solve the problem yourself. go to see a doctor. we can give you lots of answers but you need to look into cognitive behavioural therapy, and other treatments for depression.
also buy a strong B vitamin complex (one that contains far more than 100% rda, vitamin B6 is the most important for depression). before i started taking b vitamins i was always getting syptoms of depression very bad (lack of sleep constant paranoia and crying, couldn't hold down a job, no sex drive, poor appetite).
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