A
female
age
41-50,
*nlovedLuLu
writes:I'm stuck in a loveless, nasty, marriage and at a loss as to how to get out. I'm in my late twenties and have been with my husband since I was nineteen (married him at twenty-one.) We don't have children. I started falling out of love with my husband around the time I was diagnosed with a rare illness two years ago. Up until then I waited on my husband hand and foot, he did nothing but he is the bread winner and he felt it was only fair that I, the one who made the least amount of income, would do all the domestic chores. I hated it but did it. When I was sick however I couldn't work and he started getting nasty and cruel and resented the fact I couldn't clean the house very well (the house got into such a mess when I was really sick.) When I was ill it was all about him, I never even got a hug :( and since it costs us $10,000 in medical bills he went out and purchased a $60,000 sports car (even though we couldn't afford it.) We stopped having sex when I was sick and even though I've been better for two years he won't be intimate because I gained a couple of pounds and no longer have tanned skin (he says I have to look like the woman he married before he can touch me but he "loves" me.) It's taken me two years to recover and recently I had the chance to go back to uni as this was a big goal for me if I got better (which I did) as I always regretted not finishing the degree. He was all behind me following my dream when I was really sick but tonight we had yet again a huge fight and this time he screamed at me "I dare you to leave, you wouldn't survive a week without my money"... thing is I want to take him up on that dare! Without having had a job for a few years due to my illness and my recovery, and now being a student, I don't know what to do as I have no money to escape him. I WANT to leave him so badly but my parents past away a few years ago and as an only child I have no one to turn to (I lost contact with friends when I was sick.) Has anyone left their husband when they literally had nothing but the shirt on their back? What did you do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): im sorry for wat u have been through but i could tell u this u could leave to a shelter i left my state and moved i was living with sombody that waz just impossible to live with i went to the welfare office and told them i didnt have anywhere to go that i got kicked out and they moved me to a motel just go to welfare office near u and say u been emotional abused and u dont have anywhere to go.U being a woman well get so much help.Go and leave u deserve much better dont wait any longer i hope this helps u...best of luck..
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): First, thousands of women had successfully done this in an abusive relationship- which is what you are in. If you're in a major city, find a woman's center who help women get out of situations like this. They may be able to offer you counciling, temporary housing, financial assistance and protection should he not take your leaving too well. They should also be able to assist you in formulating a plan, where you could make sure that your departure was well thought out and that you get everything that you'll need (important documents, bank account numbers, birth certificate... etc...). They can also give you some advice on how the property laws work in your country, and how much of the communal property is yours.
This guy sounds like a total jerk, and he should have shown you the utmost compassion and support.
Oh, with any luck, you own 50% of the value of the car...!
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