A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, im really annoyed at my 'best friend' yet im not too sure whether im right to be or not.A few days ago it was my 19th birthday and i was really suprised when my best friend said to get all our friends from high school and people that we had drifted away from together for my birthday. Obviously not everyone wanted to go out and drink nor does many teenagers in university and stuff have a lot of money to blow on nothing, so we decided to have a get together with some music, alcohol and nibbles. My best friends parents were on holiday so we decided to have it at her house.Everything was going great, people were enjoying themselfs and pretty much everybody was quite drunk. My boyfriend needed the toilet and my friends downstairs toilet had a long line of people waiting to use it, so she told me to show my boyfriend where the upstairs bathroom was, but to do it sneakily so nobody else went upstairs. (Nobody was allowed upstairs, which everybody respected.) So i did so, and my boyfriend pulled me into the bathroom with him and started to kiss me. (We were quite drunk by now as it was quite late in the evening.) The door was locked and nobody was allowed upstairs so we didnt think we would get caught, so next thing you know we were led on her tiles having a quickie. It must of lasted about 5 minutes maximum but my friend came looking for us and as we were getting up she burst in through the door screaming at me.She was in my face screaming for me to get out of the party and to leave her house, calling me all the names under the sun and shouting out 'You f****d your boyfriend in my bathroom' by now all the guests where at the bottom of the stairs listening to her and it was extremley embaressing, especially as she kept repeating what we had done. I was trying to calm her down, but in the end i lost my cool and screamed all the things i'd done for her in her face before doing as she said and leaving her house. 5 minutes later she came running down the road after me saying she was sorry and to come back. She apologised and said that because she's still a virgin she gets jealous over people that are in a sexual relationship. Also the fact that 3 other people had also had sex in her house at previous partys it wasnt very fair for her to penalise me. I apologised also and said to her i thought the door was locked, and she then admitted that she had got a coin and unlocked the door from the outside and let herself in.Now ive had time to think through the nights events though its left me quite angry, ive known this girl since she was born as our parents grew up together. She cant drive and therefore whenever she's drunk or upset or needs a lift she rings me, and i ALWAYS come and get her whatever time of night and whatever state she's in, and i never charge her petrol money. She hasn't had sex yet, but she has done other sexual acts. Whilst i was on holiday i left her with a key to my house, to which she took a boy back and recieved oral off him in my bed. She also got stupidly drunk one night and rang me at 3 in the morning to pick her up, i took her home but she had forgotten her key so instead of waking all her family up i took her back to mine. To which she was sick all in my bed even after i told her she had to stay downstairs, she then threw a childish tantrum as i wouldnt let her sit outside in the rain and kicked a bucket full off her sick and bleach through my house and covered the walls and floor in it.This is the first thing ive ever done to her that could be considered out of order and look at the way she reacted. I ended up going home anyway as i was too embaressed to go back into the party. Many people have said to me that she's made herself look stupid and if anyone of there friends had sex in there bathroom they would just laugh it off, its not a big deal.Am i wrong to be angry at her? As she doesnt seem to be an amazing friend right now. Fair enough if she wasnt happy she could of taken me aside and said something, she didnt have to make sure everybody new exactly what had happend and make me leave the house. Thanks in advance. xx
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female
reader, Sweety Pie +, writes (25 July 2010):
 Hmmm... well yes some may say you having sex in her bathroom as a bit disrespectful, but tbh you were drunk, and if she offered to have a house party at hers then she should expect people to have sex in her house. Thats kinda teenage life. Im surprised that people respected the no going upstairs rule, if im honest. Maybe your friends are better behaved than mine :)
She did act out of order, but you have to allow the alcohol in that, which would make her over react. It's good she apologised but a bit harsh of her to shout it infront of the whole party, especially as it was for you. Unlocking the door is definatly weird, I think its quite obvious what a locked door means, but again I think its down to the alcohol, it probaly seemed more rational to do that whist she was drunk.
As for the other stuff, getting oral in your bed is gross. I dont know why she told you. I'd be creeped out. And the sick thing is even worse, but again I suppose she was very drunk.
I think you have every right to be mad at her, but its up to your whether to bring these things up again. Maybe have a calm discussion with her and mention how unreasonable you find her sometimes. It's probaly not worth losing a friend over so try to sort it out :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): I suppose your right to be angry, but she's already apologized. We've all overreacted and said things we didn't quite mean before, and you said there was lots of drinking going on at this party, so that impares our judgment also. You could vent and talk to her further about it, but as you said, she's already apologized, so what more do you want?
Is it enough to stop speaking to her over?
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