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age
36-40,
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writes: Me and my girlfriend love each other. We are in a 5 month distance relationship. She tells me she is 100% sure that she wants to be with me and that she could be happy with me forever. I told her for awhile that I was, I myself thought I was. Then I realized that I'm not and told her. Needless to say she wasn't happy. I love her and want her, but part of me is unsure. How do I tell that I'm sure especially with the distance?Other question: Is it normal for guys to be more frustrated about the distance in distance relationships then the girl? My girlfriend seems to be more able to handle it then me. We think it might have to do with what each respectively gets in relationships. Girls get a very strong emotional bond. Guys bond too, but there must be something about not getting to see their gf that is especially hard on them. But it could be just me. Thanks for reading and your help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell not to say that I don't want it in terms of feeling the urge to have it. We just both think that it won't help with things and that it's better overall to not. But I can't deny the urge to have it that I would normally get as a male in his 20's.
A
male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (13 September 2007):
 To the first question, I can tell you from experience it is very hard to know for sure. Sometimes you have doubts about the whole thing and therefore have doubts about whether she is the one you want to be with. You may never get to a point in the relationship where you know for certain if it's something you really want. That time will come after you've met up a few times, and you'll discover whether she is worth enduring a long distance relationship or not. I think you are very lucky to have a girlfriend who is completely onboard with this. She wants you, and she will fight for you. Don't let go of that!
As for the 2nd question, the answer here is simple: It varies from person to person. Not long ago I came out of a long distance relationship after 2 years, and I really wanted to continue. Until the day she told me she didn't, I thought she wanted the same thing. So, I (the guy) would have given anything to stay with her, whereas she grew tired of it and broke us up.
Anyway, I have a lot of experience of this under my belt, so please, if there is any questions or doubts you might have, message me and I'll gladly tell you what I know.
Good luck, my friend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): Then I don't know why. Maybe you're not ready for a relationship. Or maybe she's just not your type.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe don't have sex. We are both Christian and are waiting until marriage to have sex with anyone.
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A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (12 September 2007):
 Hi,
I had a distance relationship with a man for 6 months. He initiated it and did most of the pursuit. Then after 6 months he decided I was too involved and that he felt confused so he backed out. I was totally fallen for him, swept off my feet, and convinced we would be a couple for very long. I even saw us living together after a while, it would just take a little more time than for others.
So, yes, maybe guys gets more frustrated than girls in these situations and are not as likely to feel convinced it will work out in the end.
A problem, as you also point out yourself, is how to talk to her about this when far away. Is there any time soon you and she can get together and see each others? Than that would be best time to talk. Otherwise talk to her about it over phone some time when you are not stressed and have time to talk for a while. If you don't, then there is a risk you stop talking to her so frequently, not answering the texts like before and so on, and she will be confused wondering about what is going on. It is not worth it. Talk about it with her as soon as possible. Tell her you find it hard that you don't get to see each other so often and that it worries you. And tell her more specifically what the worries and uncertainties are about, for example if you get scared she will meet someone else. Talking through these issues might help you get stronger.
Hope this helped a little, wish you luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): Guys want sex and that's why you're frusterated. I believe you know this. Some girls are the same way but apparently,your girl doesn't mind not having sex on a reg, basis. If you can't handle it but cant move closer, leave..why prolong your suffering?
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