A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My mother died January 2008 and now my 84 year old father lives with my husband and 24 year old son. My father is from the old school where he doesn't know how to cook, laundry, etc and cannot be left alone at night. However, he is alone during the day and he has home care 3 days a week. I am totally exhausted and drained. My husband and and don't have a life now that my son is old enough. Everyone in the house helps out with my dad but I need a break. I have a sister who lives in Newmarket and my father doesn't like to go and visit her because she lives too far. I love my father and my escape is working when I can retire? I now have an ulcer because I keep everything locked inside of me. I need help. Everything has been dumped in my lap. Do I need help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): Hey
I can kind of relate. Quiet echo gives some sound advice, however if your situation is similar to my own, this may not be an option open to you. My father is 79, I'm 25. He lives 5 minutes away, and if I didn't have this space I'd go mad. To make matters worse his mind is slowly going so often I have to listen to the same things he's just said over and over again. It can be very exhausting. Does your farther have a self sufficient living space? Like a bathroom and little side kitchen? That can be very helpful.
A
female
reader, Charlpop  +, writes (1 September 2009):
 I can sympathise with you. My Mum and I look after my Grandma everyday (meals etc, the lot), and it can be incredibly exhausting, physically and emotionally.
Thankfully my Aunt (who lives a few hours away) comes up about one weekend every 3 weeks - month. This allows us some time to ourselves, and to be honest, if we didn't have it, we'd probably break down.
You need a break.
If you're scared this will hurt or anger your Father by telling him you need a break from looking after him, just tell him that you're just going to see your sister.
Just because he doesn't want to go, doesn't mean you shouldn't.
Please take the break, I wouldn't want anything to happen to someone in a similar situation, as I know how hard it can be.
Hope this helps :)
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