A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Basically, i have to look after my mum because she's got a lung disease and my sister because she has cerebal palsy and at the minute its all getting too much for me and i feel like i cant do it anymore. Everything my mum asks me to do i snap at and it stresses her out which makes her more ill, i just cant handle it all and no-one understands what i'm going through. i know this hasnt got anything to do with relationships or anything but can you help or give me advice in any way please? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (23 April 2012):
oh hon, bless your heart but you're way too young to have to take on the weight of the world on your shoulders. You're to be commended for all you're doing for your family, but this is beyond your means and ability.
I think you should try to find outside help to take care of your mother and/or sister. You can't do it all on your own, and that's not natural either. throughout most of history people lived in larger tight-knit communities and also had extended families living together so when some people grew old and sick the work of caring for them was spread out amongst the whole village and extended family, not put entirely on one family member like yourself. these days communities and families are smaller which is why professional care-giving has been created to care for those who have a lot of special needs. it's because it really is beyond the capability of one person to provide.
So it is very appropriate and practical to get outside professional care-giving for your mom and/or sister. (that way, the time you spend with them will be of higher quality.) But you're only 16-17, you're not the one who has the health insurance policy or the legal authority to make decisions on behalf of others.
therefore I think you should talk to your mom and other adult family members about getting in-home professional care. it may also help to talk with your school counselors or teachers about the difficulty you're experiencing, I'm sure they may be able to help you or point you in the right direction. You need to get other concerned adults involved in coming up with solutions. good luck.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (23 April 2012):
 No surprise your cracking under the strain its hard for an adult carer and your still effectively a child. Have you been to the Doctor to explain your health is suffering badly OR to activate some kind of help from Social Services? Are there any other family members to help you, aunties, Nan, Uncles? Your Dad, where is he?You NEED to make it known loud and clear you cannot cope alone for much longer.You NEED to speak up. Its not just you but your Mum and sister that will suffer if you dont get some help. XX
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