A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a strange secret. After 30 years, I'm still obsessed,with my first love.I know,it's sick, I have a nice family, and loving husband, great children, and I have a good life.I'm very wrong to feel,what I feel, but that is why I write here, as someone might be able to help me,... Please don't judge me..I went to therapy about this, but I still suffer,and my mental health is really effected.Well, I;m jealous of his wife, because he had chosen her ,instead of me.. I wish ,if he would leave her..I didn't see him for 3o years, but I think we were for eachother, and the wrong choive had been made...I don't know how he feels, I know a bit about him, he is in an other country..I mainly want to find him ,and live with him,but i know ,it will probably never happen.I think he loves that woman, and probably never even thinks about me..Well, we even looked a like, we had so much going on, I never can give up.What should do? I would quit,if I could ..Thanks
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female
reader, confwom  +, writes (21 May 2009):
 Sometime back one of my friend had the same story, atleast you moved on in life with kids etc..but she couldnt. She kept talking about her first love always and couldnt concentrate much on her husband. She was repeating the same your words and troubling herself. One day somehow she came to know that his wife is nowhere upto my friends's level and told us that he is the person who missed a better choice in his life. Now she is very happy with her husband and kids. I guess more than love, jealousy and self pity (that she has not been chosen by him) has been driving her crazy and once she understood that she is in a better position than him, she became alright.
In your case, you dont know how he is in his life. Try to fix in your mind that you are in much better position than him and he is the one who missed a better choice and be happy with your family. Hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): First of all your not sick, but i think there is something wrong in your marriage especially when you say you want to live with you first love. Have you ever loved you husband? I think you need to speak to another professional there is something missing from you life and you need to find out why after 30 you have never got over your first love why did you break p in the first place?.I think you shoul start living in reality you have a good family life, why take a chance on a fantasy because thats what it sounds like. I wish you all the luck and i hope you find inner peace and true happinessxW
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