A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, i would appreciate some advice. I was in a relationship with a guy, not for very long but i did fall in love with him. We started having problems and he ended it. Nearly 2 months later i am still in love with him and today i have actually been crying because i still miss him. I haven't contacted him except to thank him when he wished me a happy birthday. I want to know if i should tell him how i feel? I know that we are on friendly terms. For example, if i was to ask him out for a drink he would most probably go. I also know he is still single. Also, if i do tell him how i feel should i do it via email or in person? I dont want to put him on the spot by doing it in person however, sending an email seems impersonal and a bit immature. And i dont want to sound too dramatic either. I dont know what to do! This sucks :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): This is the original poster.
I just wanted to thank you all for your wonderful advice. We are catching up this weekend for a drink so i'll see how it goes :) thanks again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): Why not go out for a drink first and see how he acts toward you? He might have a lot to say to you as well. Once you gauge how he is with you in person, you might be able to let him know. If you have a lot of detailed thoughts to tell him, maybe email works better as you can get it all down clearly (but do this after your friendly meeting).Good luck!
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A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (2 May 2011):
Hi - I would definately see him in person and invite him for a coffee or something - but not as a catch up how are you discussion but as a confession of how you feel - I always believe you cant go wrong with expressing your emotions truthfully and fully - you may learn he doesnt want to see you anymore and thats good to know to - you can finally move on and accept that this relationship wasnt meant to be. You may find he is feeling the same and that will spark other discussions and admissions and so on.Good luck
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A
female
reader, amandanash  +, writes (2 May 2011):
What problems were you having that ended the relationship? If they were serious problems, then that is a legit excuse. But if they were just small things that were getting between you two, and he ended the relationship over it, chances are, he probably wasn't 100% into the relationship. Then again, early on in relationships don't necessarily require both people to be 110% committed to solving relationship problems, cause when it's early in the game, it can be easier just to end it.At any rate, it is very much the more mature thing to go to him in person and tell him how you feel. But that is MUCH easier said than done. I am quite a shy person when it comes to being the first to admit feelings for someone, to their face none the less.If you want to talk to him again, e-mail him and ask him if he wants to get together, and try subtly hinting towards the fact that you are still interested.Make sure not to put yourself through what happened before though. Maybe you should take more time about the situation, cause the breaking up wound is still fresh. Sometimes it takes time to heal and realize what you had was wrong, and you finally see the flaws.All in all, I don't want to sway your decision, but at the same time, what is life if we don't take risks and chances?
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