A
female
age
30-35,
*osephy
writes:I've met someone four years ago, we stayed together for 2 years then kept going in and out of the relationship. I can't forget, I can't move on. I need to kill this love in my heart. The mind got forget but the heart just won't let go. I know it is not going to work but I simply cannot stop loving him no matter what. I need to have this love killed. Help me
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broke up, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AbigailBradbury  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Only you will know what is best. It depends what your feelings on life are, and whether you believe that "life is too short" or that "people in the past are there for a reason".
Are you a risk taker? You need to ask yourself whether the consequence of getting back with him and it not working, would be harder on you than leaving it and getting over him. You will make the right choice for this time in your life. Never have regrets.
A
female
reader, josephy +, writes (9 April 2012):
josephy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi, it's me again.
I've received a call from my ex, he begged me to have him back in my life. he said that he loves me and he can't move on. I already refused and I'm feeling horrible . what shall i do? did i do the right thing?
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A
female
reader, josephy +, writes (16 March 2012):
josephy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you
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A
female
reader, Wise_little_elf  +, writes (13 March 2012):
 Joshepy, i hope you find happiness and peace in whatever decision you decide to make. Love is a very hard thing to get over, we all know that and most of us have had to do it at one point. I wish you all the best in it, and if you ever need to discuss this again don't hesistate.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012): I'd be careful not to put the fault on your shoulders. He obviously had feelings for you but not the kind that would make him willing to go the distance as far as a real commitment to you. You responded to that in the right way by pulling back and protecting yourself and now it's time to finally move on for good and separate the fantasy from the reality. A man in love will commit and make it happen...not continually let you go and attempt to pull you back in like you are a hobby. Guys do this when they don't want you out their life permanently but don't exactly want you around all the time either. It's selfish and you aren't standing up for yourself.Next time he calls, ask him if he's ready to give you a permanent commitment right now and if he doesn't say yes, say goodbye to him. The truth will sink in and that truth is this isn't some romantic tragedy, just a guy who didn't feel as intense about you as you felt about him.
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A
female
reader, josephy +, writes (12 March 2012):
josephy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know why it won't work. we have different culture and religion. I know that the consequences of being together won't be good so I decided to stay away from him. yes he has been always good to me and that's why I kept going back to him. I couldn't stay away. It's me who kept go in and out of the relationship out of the worry and belief that the sooner I leave the better it is the quicker I heal but that doesn't help. We were so good to each other and we had so much respect but that's not enough to start a life together. I'm struggling everyday not to email him, not to call him, and to keep a distance. A month has passed since the last time we talked I told him to stop contacting me and I can't stop feeling bad about it. I feel that I was hard on him.
I'll try to hold myself back as long as I can.
Thanks for your encouraging words.I appreciate it.
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A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury +, writes (11 March 2012):
Well honey, unfortunately you can't "kill" your feelings; you can't choose who you love.
You obviously had many good times with this person, many good memories. and that's obviously over riding the fact that they are an "ex".
'Time is a healer'
Such a true quote. You will just have to give it time. Do something to preoccupy your mind, take your mind off it.
In time you'll probably meet someone else and realise why this person is an EX :)
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A
female
reader, Wise_little_elf +, writes (11 March 2012):
I myself was in the same situation, i loved my ex for years after we broke up, i had to see him twice a week, as he collected our daughter. Now and again he used to ring me for a 'booty call' an i would believe that , that night we spent together was the start of something, it never was. As he was back being a stranger to me the next day, i wanted nothing more , but to not love him. Truth is, you can't make it go away. And the more you think and obsess about it, the more it will stay lingering. My ex eventually got a girlfriend, whom he fell in love with and stayed with, i was very bitter as he would bring her along to collect our daughter. I felt stabbed in the heart everytime. Some people you will have love in your heart for forever. But, when you fall in love again, and you will, you will realise, it wasn't the person you missed, just the way it felt when you two loved each other. I think i will always have love for my ex, but you have to remember the reasons you broke up, and why it didn't work. My advice would be , to avoid contact with him, it will help you forget, and time is a great healer. Yes that feeling you have right now will go away, it wont be there forever, i can promise you that. be grateful you have experienced true love, as it is better to have loved and lost to have not loved at all. And in time you will love another just the same. And he will be nothing but a distant memory.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2012): Think about why you kept breaking up...Think about why it won't work. Stop romanticising about the good times and glossing over the bad. Accept that you will always love him and move on.
This current anguish isn't helping you.
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