A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:I've been having trouble with my ex. I broke up with him because he stopped spending time with me. Maybe its the fact he was going to school full time, depressed, unhappy with his life..whatever it is, I broke up thinking itd make me feel better and id stop caring..but it didnt. We talked,saw each other after that and its been in a grey area. We're not together, he doesnt know how much time he can devote me (he just got his FT job back). So hes working/going to school full time. He still calls sometimes to say hi/see how im doing. I told him i wouldnt call anymore and if he wanted to make things work with me/make plans - call me (I felt i was trying to fix something that only he could fix). I didnt call for a week and he called me annoyed like..why havent u called?? and i explained to him why, plus ive been super busy with school.Recently he made plans to come see me and never called/showed up..hes made half ass plans before. I got annoyed and told him to only make plans the day of/if hes gonna follow thru, otherwise dont say anything. I hate it. I dont like his behavior, its like he used to be so happy with me and then once he started hating the way he looked, being depressed bout work/failing school.. he became neglectful, flakey, and all his words mean nothing to him.. its like i dont believe him anymore. He says i love you/i miss you and it angers me.I understand being depressed..because ive been there before but i guess because im a woman.. i would want to go to my partner for support/love. and hes the opposite.. he completely shut me out. After i told him to stop making fake plans..he chose to not call me the next day (i was supposed to stop by his house the next day) and he was supposed to call when he got home. i feel hes punishing me..and it angers me he can be so childish. he also says things i think to get a rise out of me/see if i care.. like "I might be moving/gone for a year to north carolina/ out of country etc" or "i might be leaving cos a family member is ill" everytime he tells me stuff like this..he never leaves. I used to get sad, because id miss him and didnt want him to leave.. now i dont react..and within a week it was 2 different reasons for him supposedly moving in a week and as far as i know, hes still here.Part of me wants to write an email and tell him to leave me alone.. and when hes ready to be my bf/follow thru/make an effort - get at me.ive been good about not calling him.. i guess ill just keep from contacting him..im just not sure what to say if he calls.
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broke up, depressed, I love you, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (13 May 2011):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question he actually called me today.. a wk later from when he was supposed to call - i ignored his call.. he knows what he should do to fix this and i think he plays stupid.. i think ill avoid him for a cpl wks and see how that goes.. i want to explain to him whats up ..but i feel we've already done that..and it seems it went in one ear and out the other.. i think he thinks ill always b there..and can just flake on me. so thats y i decided to ignore his call..and see how he likes being ignored.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Sounds like this guy is all over the place at the moment. Hunny if he really wanted you back he would be making more of an effort than he is at the moment. It looks like he is looking for attention from you, possibly because he has low self esteem at the moment and wants to try and make himself feel better. But you need to look out for yourself as well.The no contact rule is the best rule really. If I were you I would get everything of your chest write him an email or a letter and tell him exactly how you feel, and everything you want from him. Explain to him how it makes you feel everytime he makes plans and doesnt follow them through, tell him you need to be able to rely on him and trust his word. Then simply ask him not to contact you unless he is ready to give you all of those things. Get on with your life, keep yourself busy. Good Luck.
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