A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, there's a lot of back story here before I get to the actual question. I was with this girl, my first girlfriend (I'm 32, kind of a late bloomer in this area). I don't have any relationship experience of my own, but I've seen lots of other people. My relationship with this girl was different. For one thing, there was no physical contact at all. No sex, no kissing, no cuddling, nothing. She even stiffened up when I tried to hug her. However, she hadn't been like this in the past, with other guys. Our relationship was mostly built around what I could do for her. I bought her things, gave her things, did things for her, but it wasn't a two-way street. I'm naturally a giving person, and most of my interpersonal dealings are usually asymmetrical, so this wasn't a big deal at first. Eventually, it became apparent that my feelings and needs were unimportant to her, but that she expected her feelings and needs to be my top priority. So, I dumped her. That was about three weeks ago. Looking back on things now, the conclusions I came to still stand up...she was using me...but that doesn't seem as horrible now that I am alone again. I can't stop thinking about her, and I'm starting to wonder if a relationship like this is better than nothing at all. I'm fairly certain I can get her back (who wouldn't want the gravy train to continue?), although she'd probably make me 'win her back', involving more expensive gifts. Most of me tells me I shouldn't, but after being single and alone for so many years before this, part of me wants to hang on to this. I don't know what to do.
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male
reader, Brisey  +, writes (25 October 2008):
I was recently in a very similar situation to your self. Just abit of love or affection would have have made all I did so worth while. We all want to feel loved, needed. I joined a free dating site not long after and now have someone in my life. Dont go back there mate :peace:
A
female
reader, yourstruly +, writes (25 October 2008):
 Wow can i just say is there anymore men like you and where can i find me one??? You want advice hun and i am willing to give it but it's going to be a very to the point bit of advice don't go back don't ever make do!!! You sound like a kind decent man who is willing to give his all to a woman to me sounds like you deserve nothing less in return!! I am a true believer that there is someone out there for everyone and i also believe that you will find that somone who is also willing to give as well as take we are all human and we all have feelings we all need a cuddle and we all need and long for requainted love. If you want me to be honest i think this female is taking you for a mug and she sounds like she has some issues as she does not express emotion to you i feel that she will only drag you down in the process which to me souds like that has already began to happen and it sounds like she is taking advantage of your kind giving nature don't ever allow yourself to be someones doormat and don't allow them to walk all over you!! Have your pride hold your head up high and you really must know you can do better and that is what you will get!! If you ever need to talk feel free to message me hun!! Hope this helps.Yours truly .x.
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