A
female
age
30-35,
*liceinunderland
writes: I've been seeing my boyfriend for three months now. I've also been hanging with his friends during that period. Don't get me wrong, I've had a lot of fun with my boyfriend, but sometimes I feel that his one friend treats me more the way I want to be treated. It's like my boyfriend doesn't talk to me over text- he doesn't like it- and mainly because he has no credit. His friend (A) and I talk over text a lot. I don't talk solely to this one friend. And when I'm around my boyfriend and his friends I try to treat them all equal (except obviously my boyfriend is my main concern) AnywY to cut the story short, I've been having a lot more fun and have been happier around A and my boyfriends other friends than when my boyfriend is there- it's like he brings down the mood because we are quite laid back and he is easily wound up. I'm starting to think I'm with the wrong friend. But I do love my boyfriend and I think it could work- only I don't want to force him to change and I struggle to handle my emotions so explaining to him what I see wrong with our relationship would be incredibly hard and he would get annoyed because I can't explain properly. What do I do?
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female
reader, Anastasia +, writes (9 June 2012):
Young Lady,
You are getting yourself into one tricky piece of situation here and you need to nip it in the bud.
First off, boys talk...and you need to establish that you are trustworthy and straight up around them. Your boyfriend should be your top priority and the person you speak to more than his other friends. You are cuckoo bananas to think that this doesn't look weird to anyone else.
Does your boyfriend know you text his friend so often? So what if he doesn't have credit...would you go out to dinner and a movie with his friend if he had no money to take you??
You say you love your boyfriend, how about talking to him and telling him what you feel...share with him what you need in the relationship. Encouraging friendships from his friends leads to things as it is already leading to. This is how cheating starts...and then everyone says "oops it just happened". Talk to your boyfriend...it's hard...write him a letter. That way you take your time and say exactly what you want to say and are clear.
If he means that much to you, then make every effort to prove it. Don't go chit chatting and cosying up to his friends cause they make you feel better than he does....why are you even with him if that's the case.
Talk to him
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