A
female
age
36-40,
*eighLeigh
writes:My partner and I have been together for almost a year now, when we first started dating we use to go out heaps.Now we both work during the week the only time we get to see each other is on weekends. We hardly go out anywhere and he never spends money on me.. Don't get me wrong I think things should be 50/50, I've spent so much money(hundreds maybe thous) on him within the past year and he hasn't spent much in reurn at all...So on weekends all we do is sit at his( his mum's place) all weekend watching telly, video games and drinking... I'm starting to feel like a caged annimal I need to get out and do something new, but he doesn't ever want to make an effort or go anywhere.. well unless its cheap..!!On top of all that his mum doesn't want me staying at their place all weekend anymore cos she "wants her rest" even though she's never there...? Now we have to ask his mum if I can stay another night during the weekend..How sad!! By the way I'm 22 and his 20.. We're not kids..Can anyone make anything of all this? Help?? Any advice????
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female
reader, Renee okc  +, writes (28 July 2009):
I hope it works out for you sweetie but I can't see how anything will change unless you change it. When a person does things that turn you off it is hard sometime to turn it back on and after so long it isn't even worth it. I hope he straightens out before you totally let him go, but being that he sounds the way he does I dont see that happening anytime soon and I hate the thought of you just sitting around wasting your time. He is so worried about you cheating on him because he knows he is not doing right by you and you can do better. Good luck girlfriend let me know what you decide to do .
A
female
reader, LeighLeigh +, writes (24 July 2009):
LeighLeigh is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you!! = ]
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A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (23 July 2009):
all that you are saying is perfectly true, I myself find myself in a similar situation right now and I have decided I want a real man and not a boy that runs to his mother for everything and is not willing to stand up on his own two feet.All you can do is leave him and move on with your life you deserve better and eventually you will find better just believe that you can do bad all by yourself which I have learned the hard way once again.You are doing the right thing good luck girlfriend just stay strong.
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A
female
reader, LeighLeigh +, writes (23 July 2009):
LeighLeigh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe doesn't have many friends due to he was home schooled.
So the friends he does have he hardly sees them, well that I know of..
He and i work but I work day and he works night during the week, hence why we wait until the weekend.
Money tight?..
Yes and no, even when he has money he just wants to spend it on booze..
When I ask him out for lunch he huffs and puffs like a child..
I've told him I can't keep doing the same thing EVERY weekend, I need change every now and then by going out and doing something...
Took me an hour to talk him into going to put put golf...
He knows his being selfish and that's what I can't get, I mean last weekend he went to the kitchen and grabbed a two glasses and a bottle of juice.. I thought that the second glass was for me. But when I grabbed it off him he huffed and puffed got up and threw the bottle of juice on the floor and his glass on the floor and well and yelled "YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU WANTED A GLASS" like as if I knew he was going to the kitchen for all I knew he could have been going to the toilet.... Turns out that second glass was for his brother.. We were all sober at the time..
Soon after that happened I went out side for a smoke, while I was doing so I had this strong thought.. "I want a real MAN not a BOY".. So after my smoke I got up and went to bed with out saying a word, I knew if I said something to him I would have broken it off with him then and there..
He has had a few out bursts like this but only recent.. I personally feel I have a father like that I don't need my partner to be like that too...
Opinions??
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (22 July 2009):
 This post reminds me so much of my last relationship! From the mother to the never leaving the house to the absent father to the minimal spending of money!Does he ever go out with his friends? Does he work - is money especially tight at the moment?How does he respond if you suggest going out to lunch?Have you discussed it with him? It is troubling that he is aware he is behaving selfishly but not remedying it.I don't think it is unreasonable to expect that he occasionally might want to leave the house and share something other than electronic entertainment or booze with you.
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A
female
reader, LeighLeigh +, writes (22 July 2009):
LeighLeigh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Renee!! = ] He can be very selfish at times, and he knows this!! I've told him lol.He told me before we met and got together staying at home was the one thing he did 24/7 and he said its a hard habbit for him to break.There was a point in our relationship when ever I invited him out I had to invite his brother out too, it feels like I'm dating the hole freaking family at times!!It's not all the time I want to go out, sure I love to stay in and snuggle the night away. But when I really want to get out in the world he uses this; "oh you can go out if YOU want to"..The thing is he doesn't like me going out with the girls or with mates of mine, because he thinks I'm going to cheat on him or something. He has a hard time trusting people due to his father leaving him when he was young..I know he doesn't trust me or can't but why should I have to suffer if I'm no longer happy?
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A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (22 July 2009):
You need to sit down with him and explain how you feel and how bored you are getting with the relationship. It is sad you have to ask permission to visit on the weekends he is sounding like he is just a selfish person, apparently he doesn't think anything is wrong so maybe you should think of moving on you are young and need to get out and live why waste your time watching T.V. all weekend when you could be out enjoying life.
talk to him first give him the options and lay down the law and if he doesn't want to get with the program then send him and his mum on their merry way lol.
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