A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why is my dating pool so tragic? It's like all the women I've tried to take serious were going nowhere in life. I don't judge never did but today I realized they all have the no drive in common to be and do something greater in life. My first chic was a lottery clerk. She dropped out of college. She never talked about dreams and aspirations but then again she was a regular pot smoker and alcohol drinker. She was 32 and still working as a lottery clerk for over 6 years. My next chic was a criminal tax evader and identity thief. I so left her. But she wanted to own her business, while someone else fund the initial startup. Bad deal. The next chic was sad, very poor grammar and articulation. She ended up going to prison for god knows what and I left. Now there is this chic who says she refuse to work hard and not smart. She refuse manual labor jobs. Might I add she's 27 lives with her parents, and haven't a car. Why am I meeting these type women. I'm well educated, a degree holder in the dreaded field of science. I am a hard working woman very successful have my own whatever you name....good job with good income. Granted I don't dress like a runway model but I'm kept. Where can I find lesbians like myself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2013): I'm a 24 year old lesbian woman who has graduated (with honours) in English.
I have just left my position as an analyst to train as a high school teacher.
We are out there...
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (20 November 2013):
Dear OP-
I'm not from the U.S. but in the time when I was dating women, I found that there are indeed some very troubled women who identify themselves as lesbians. I also met other women, however, academics, artists, nurses, teachers, police officers.. just maybe they are harder to spot, because they don't wear a sign saying "hey, I am lesbian". Women who are "going somewhere in their life" don't necessarily want or need to shout out that they are lesbians right away. They may hint so if you know them better, but you may need some more time to spot them.
So, where to meet them? You already graduated but I bet there were some lesbian women at your university. And there are probably some lesbian women wherever you go. Maybe you'll also meet a nice woman in a good gay/lesbian club. Or at a gay/lesbian online dating site.
Next time, if you meet a woman that's going nowhere in life.. and you know you aren't going to like it.. don't hang on, don't be romantic and don't try to change it. Just leave, before you had a chance to kiss or lose your heart to her.
Also, what does "I don't dress like a supermodel, but I'm kept" really mean? Are you self-conscious about your looks? Or do you really not care that much at all? Dress in a way that you feel attractive and happy. If you feel shy, miserable or lazy in your skin, you will attract people who feel the same.
But after all, it could just be that you've got extremely bad luck. You're fishing in a smaller pond than straight girls or straight men, so the possibility of meeting someone weird might be higher.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 November 2013):
 Where do you FIND the women you have been dating? My guess is you look in ALL the wrong places.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 November 2013):
 If you always find a certain type of woman, then it's because for some reason you are drawn to them or seek them out... as to why... well therapy can help there.
My aunt and her wife are both in the social worker field and own a home and are lovely people of good character and morals.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 November 2013):
 Interesting. There are a few people who subconsciously choose those of a lower station because they believe it gives them the balance of control in a relationship, while at the same time disdaining those same partners FOR being seemingly inferior.
It boils down to where you're looking, and who you're looking for. You know as well as I do that there are affluent, successful and ambitious lesbians out there. They just honored one today, Sally Ride, who was an astronaut, with the presidential medal of freedom.
Don't be afraid to seek partnership from those you may think are out of your league. If you're looking for intellectual competency, the bar may not be the first choice.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 November 2013):
Your luck with women is too bad to be a coincidence... maybe a therapist can help you figure out what the problem is.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (20 November 2013):
 Maybe you are subconsiously choosing losers because you feel you don't deserve someone better. If you are choosing the same kind of woman over and over again, then you need to take an inward look to find out why you are repeating the same relationship patterns. Perhaps therapy might help you figure this out.
It's not that there is a limited pool of lesbians. You're in the pool but seem to be gravitating towards the losers. You need to figure out why you're doing this.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 November 2013):
 Most any play EXCEPT where you've been looking in the past....
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