A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am generally a very pesemistic person and ive been with my boyfriend now for a 19 months and i love him to pieces. he has watched me go through a really depressed anti social stage, hes always stayed around when i push him away when im stressed like during hsc and he has always taken my insults and agression to him and stuck by me. Now i made it into uni and he is doing a makeup year because he didnt work hard enough. Now that im happy and lively again he is suddenly always busy and wants to hang with his mates...we used to see each other 5 times a week now its only once if that...i go and see him whenever i can. I dont completely ignore him when i have exams to study for. but when he has exams and assignments he pushes me away and tells me he needs to study but goes out with his mates.i always have negavtive, pesemistic thoughts about him wanting to leave me now he has all these new friends and he tells me alll the time how the girls in his course all have boyfriends and tehres nothing for me to worry about but i cant help to think that he would much rather spend time with everyone else then with me?whats going on?help would b greatly appreciated and calm my thoughts.(sorry about the length)
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 May 2008):
He asked you if it was ok and you said yes?
The guy is not psychic. You could easily have said "well not really, you never spend time with me any more. Go out if you want to but I want more time with you."
Tell him how you feel, don't expect him to guess as guys are not good at that.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy problem is he has all this free time and choses to spend it with his mates then with me....we organised to spend the nite hanging out but i got a phone call say hey sorry im going to my mates for the night is that ok?
and kept asking me if i was sure it was ok
and i let him go because i had spent time with him that day and saw that coming...but his free time never seems to involve me
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (29 April 2008):
 It could be that he feels its his time now as he has been there for you in the past but maybe dont need him so much. Give him the space he needs but dont let him forget about you and this might work out okay. Dont let him take you for a mug by any means but just let him know you're there for him. Get in there first by saying you cant see him a certain night as you have plans and have a bit of a life outside of his. Couples need there own space and time alone sometimes and this can often make for a stronger relationship. Hope it all works out xx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (29 April 2008):
Could it be that when you were going through your down stage he was there for you so much, that now you are happy and in uni and sorted out he feels he can relax and see his friends?
Leave him to it and don't worry about him. Besides you are at uni!! you should be having loads and loads of fun, not sat at home by the phone.
Join as many clubs and groups as you can, you'll never get to do climbing and parachuting so cheaply as when you are at uni.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Well, you are at a point in your relationship that's past the initial stage of giddyness and not being able to keep away from eachother. He KNOWS he has you, so there is either no point in him putting anymore effort into the relationship than he has to, or he is busy and enjoys being with he friends, and he knows you will still be there when he wants you. You'll either have to get used to the fact that relationships eventually get like this to where your man is constantly in your face, or if you are in it just for the feelings of passion and want then maybe a long-term relationship isn't for you. If he wants space, just give him his space. You can concentrate on things you want to do and YOUR friends, be busy as well, act like you have a life outside of your boyfriend, and when he does see you when you both have free time, he'll probably be all over you.
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