A
female
age
41-50,
*hat happen?
writes:how can I handle this? Last night, i went out with my boyfriend and a girl friend. We were just trying to help her because she just broke up with her boyfriend and she wanted to have sex.By the way, her boyfriend was always hitting on me, and I always ignored him. So we ended up bring her with us. I was in the living room watching TV, and my boyfriend was having sex with her!-I heard it and tried to get in, but the door was locked. They acted like nothing happened in the morning!!!He knows he messed up, but doesn't seem like he cares. She as airheaded as she is now, with the smile drove away too. I said bye and left him just now. Whatever, i know both are not worth it, i'm done with both of them. I mean, it doesn't even hurt I deleted his phone numbers, emails, etc. Her boyfriend hitting on me, my boyfriend with her... i'm just so sick of all this 'let's all get drunk and have sex situations!!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): At least you aren't broken up by your boyfriend's actions. I'd say drop them both as friends. They aren't very good friends if they do this to you while you are in the next room!
Find some friends that don't party that hard.
I don't think you are shallow. You are just learning.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (27 August 2008):
Well it sounds like you and your friends are all very shallow. It's easy to find people and even get together with a guy and put on a perfect front, without them really caring about you or even knowing who you really are.
But you want to change and that shows you are not really shallow.
Spend some time away from everyone finding out who you are and then find some REAL friends, and don't get with any guy unless you are sure your feeling and his feelings are real.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, starismine1 +, writes (27 August 2008):
 it's a good thing that you believe you are sick of it, but be really honest with yourself. You like getting attention from guys, you like hanging out with a girlfriend who has guys lusting after her while she lusts after them. Attention is like a drug, we can lose ourselves in the need to be desired so we feel special. But what makes us really special isn't how hot we are, or how hot our boyfriend thinks we are. When we have these superficial values based only on our physical appearance and physical allure, we attract guys and girlfriends who thrive on the high of being lusted after to feel any sense of self worth. Then we have no one but ourselves to blame when we find our girlfriend having sex with our boyfriend. If we only associate with people who only value how much they desire someone physically or how much someone desires them physically, we only have physical interactions with people. So start valuing yourself and stop letting women who focus on complimenting you about your looks and crave being wanted by men because of how hot they are, be the only thing that matters.
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